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Want to get the good parts of Twitter without having to wade through all the bad parts? Worry not, we’ve got you covered. No need to stress or tiptoe through the minefield of social media, what we’ve got here are just good ol’ fashioned funnies. The kind of tweets that will make you guffaw, chortle, and other strange words that somehow mean laugh!
Here are today’s top 10 random funny tweets for your reading enjoyment.
10. Daily affirmations
*instantly clicks on the track package option*
I love getting cute little morning texts like “your order has been shipped”
— ErikaMonika🐚 (@ErikaMonika123) May 2, 2020
Hey, I’ll drink to that.
Was accidentally over served last night in my own home if u can believe it
— Blair Socci (@blairsocci) April 25, 2020
8. Bunny pig dog
I gotta be honest, he looks high as hell in that second photo.
My mom sent me these pics of the hat she made her dog and I’m cackling omg pic.twitter.com/EoFrkEVR6H
— Breanna Rodriguez (@BreannaRufina) November 14, 2019
7. Lumber slumber
Hey, I worked very hard to grow this beard.
Hipsters love beards, flannels, and axe-throwing. It's like they love everything about lumberjacks but manual labor.
— Erik Bergstrom (@Erik_Bergstrom) January 16, 2020
6. Fighting chops
There is such a thing as self-defense, you know.
I’m not gone say he was right or wrong, all ima say is I understand 😶 https://t.co/kYUtc7cOTI
— jerry (@jerry_g19) June 2, 2018
5. It’s never too late for now
I think death will be when things really start to take off for me.
If you're feeling worried about how little you've achieved, remember that Bram Stoker didn't write Dracula until he was 50, and Dracula didn't kill anyone until he was dead.
— Charlie Dinkin (@CharlieDinkin) January 3, 2020
4. The perfect doggo
Has science gone too far, or not far enough?
Huge news : german shepherd and golden retriever mix pic.twitter.com/r6RMXkBbIL
— نZAI (@SyedZain_Says) March 10, 2019
3. Bees fees
This is truly painful.
I went into a pet shop and asked for twelve bees.
The shopkeeper counted out thirteen and handed them over.
"You've given me one too many."
"That one is a freebie!"
— Jokes UK 🔞 (@jokesuk) June 25, 2019
2. ‘Tis the season
“Yeah, I mean, the first 100 episodes are kinda slow, but once you get into it…”
ppl b like “it’s gonna get better on season 8!”
— telyani (@somalidolly) May 4, 2020
1. Absolute magic
Your mom is a genius and she should be treasured.
Whenever I get sad I think about the time my mom called Harry Potter “Pottery Barn” by accident
— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) May 3, 2020
I love these tweets so much I want to put them in my pocket and take them home with me. Which I just realized I can do, because I have a phone. What a time to be alive.
Who do you think is at the top of their comedy game on Twitter right now?
Tell us who to follow in the comments.