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Pst. Hey you. You wanna see some funny stuff? Cause we got the hookup.

See there’s this place called “Twitter,” apparently it’s run by birds or something, I don’t know, but these birds are pretty funny as far as birds go and they drop all these little jokes all over the place. Sounds crazy, right? I didn’t believe it either, at first. But here we are with another cache of jokes fresh from the internet…nest.

The “internest” perhaps?

I don’t know, further research is needed.

Enjoy these ten funny tweets from this new-fangled Twitter place.

10. Coming out on top

You thought I was gonna jet? No chance.

9. Green makes green

This is just what Big Vegetable WANTS you to do.

8. Bot or not

The machines are insecure and are thus clearly projecting.

7. High steak situations

It’s a very rare occurrence.

6. Eat my dust

Know your worth, hon.

5. Bladder chatter

The “p” is not silent.

4. There’s no wrong way

Balance is the key to everything.

3. Bee best

They’re the cutest little murder machines out there.

2. Early to bed, early to fall

Humankind was not meant to see such times.

1. Freak in the sheets

Must we always sacrifice one in order to have the other? Life is so unfair.

So, now that you’ve gotten your very first taste of this place called Twitter, what do you think of it? What do you mean “you already knew about it?” What do you mean “literally everyone has for years?” Whatever, you’re just jealous.

Question of the day: is Twitter more good than bad or more bad than good?

Chime in in the comments.


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