What did we do before twitter? Did we just share our thoughts with the individuals around us? Did we actually THINK about which of those thoughts might be of interest to those people before we sputtered them out?
That must have been a hellish existence of self-repression. I can hardly remember it, and I don’t want to.
Because in the era of Twitter, I can immerse myself in the random thoughts of humanity, and it’s surprisingly delightful.
Here are 10 examples to make your day better.
10. Express delivery
When you add somebody on Facebook and immediately hear the messenger ping pic.twitter.com/HorRzSs9Ne
— ???????. (@BTrhapsody) February 27, 2020
9. Honesty is the best policy
teacher: we need to talk about ur son
teacher: he announced to the entire first grade he was "back on his bullsh^t"
me: well is he
— nores (@N0RES) July 19, 2017
8. I wonder what the scale of this problem is
Snakes probably fall in love with belts sometimes
— donni saphire (@donni) May 6, 2018
7. Communication is key
“Sure!”— me saying no to something I don’t want to do
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) February 28, 2020
6. Lower your expectations
Dating in your twenties – I hope I don’t get murdered
Dating in your thirties – I hope I get murdered
— Lindsay Theisen (@lindsaytheis) November 10, 2019
5. She’s warning you, bro
Took a look at my wife's DVR and it's all "Fatal Vows," "Wives with Knives," "Who the Bleep Did I Marry," "Deadly Women," etc., and I don't know what to make of it. ??
— Brian Fraga ?????? (@brianfraga) March 2, 2020
4. Some things aren’t important
I know everything about my best friends’ lives like every single detail except what they do for work
— mary beth (@marybethbarone) January 2, 2020
3. Drinks help us reconnect
drank white claw last night and talked to my roommates for the first time in months. “have you guys ever had white claw” i said. they have!
— steph mccann (@steph_mcca) January 1, 2020
2. Like, Bezos level?
How rich do you have to be to own zero underwear you hate
— Hi, it's Abby. Yep. (@abbycohenwl) December 27, 2019
1. And yet none of them will TELL US WHAT THEY WANT
Baby Yoda implies the existence of a Sporty Yoda, Scary Yoda, Ginger Yoda, and Posh Yoda
— Orli Matlow (@HireMeImFunny) December 30, 2019
See? It’s refreshing. Like a nice glass of internet lemonade. Thank you for your service, Twitter. You’re getting me through this Wednesday.
Who’s your favorite Twitter person? Do you even like Twitter?
Give us the 411 in the comments!