Have you had a long day? Or a day that’s hardly started but already *feels* super long? Those are even worst, right? No matter your day length, we’re pretty confident it can be made to feel shorter and breezier with a good old fashioned set of that’s-totally-me funny tweets to read and enjoy. (Just realized I referred to something half my age as “old fashioned,” and would like to die now, but let’s move on.)

Check out these super relatable tweety treats!

10. Lung way to go

I’m fine…I’m fine…everybody just…give me…some space…

9. Highly suspicious

Clearly I don’t know my own strength.

8. The slang cycle

This is how the fire gets lit.

7. Highway hypnosis

My theory is that we all occasionally get abducted by aliens while driving and they erase our memories with the MIB flashy thing.


6. Still waters run deep

Why did I raise my hand? STUPID STUPID STUPID.


5. Time flies

Look, I don’t make the rules around here.

4. Final request live

I’d hum Happy Birthday to myself and die a year older.

3. The struggle

Ever been to a Quick Trip? No customer is fast enough for a Quick Trip.


2. Tonal amnesia

I swear there’s one about never giving you up or something.

1. Redundant manners

What kind of monster turns on their phone ringer?

See how time flies when you’re having Tweets? Maybe that’s why their mascot is a bird? I need to do some more research on this. Might prove very useful in my endeavor to waste more time.

Who are your favorite Twitter people on Twitter dot com?

Tell us in the comments.