Ding dong! We’re going door to door trick or tweeting. The way it works is, you click on this article, and then we give you either a nasty trick, or a bunch of tweets. And lucky you, you got the tweets! Congratulations! You don’t wanna know what happened to all those poor slobs who got tricks. They had to change their names, get new identities, the whole nine yards.

Anyway, enjoy your ten funny tweet treats from some of the best comedic minds on Twitter.

10. Intolerable cruelty

I’m sorry, did you say “diary products?”

9. B careful

The people who make these tests are sadists.

8. Cleansing fire

I’m gonna burn me down with it.

7. The great divide

Nobody gets funny later.

6. Science!

This guy’s got big ideas and we’re on board for them.

5. Time flies

Lol, as though we’re still gonna be around in 2080.

4. Big *fish* energy

Gotta pull yourself up by your gill flaps.

3. Flushed with anger

The wave of the future is always frightening.

2. Additional features

Might have to deal with some of the junk in my trunk.

1. Enlightening

This is an absolutely shocking revelation.

Hope you liked those, and if you did, click around! We got lots more around here. And none of them are actually tricks. We lied about that.

Saying there were tricks WAS the trick! What a twist! Eat your heart out, M. Night Shayamalan.

Who’s tweets do you think you could read for hours on end without getting bored?

Tell us about it in the comments.