Ding dong! We’re going door to door trick or tweeting. The way it works is, you click on this article, and then we give you either a nasty trick, or a bunch of tweets. And lucky you, you got the tweets! Congratulations! You don’t wanna know what happened to all those poor slobs who got tricks. They had to change their names, get new identities, the whole nine yards.
Anyway, enjoy your ten funny tweet treats from some of the best comedic minds on Twitter.
10. Intolerable cruelty
I’m sorry, did you say “diary products?”
Me after eating diary products knowing damn well I’m lactose intolerant ??? pic.twitter.com/eJnLzxu6Bd
— My Mixtapez (@mymixtapez) May 12, 2020
9. B careful
The people who make these tests are sadists.
When you're writing an exam and you have picked B Four times in a row and the next Answer still looks like B pic.twitter.com/s7LADx6DBd
— Chelsea London Dry Gin (@fenris_struker) April 9, 2019
8. Cleansing fire
I’m gonna burn me down with it.
me burning incense and sage fully knowing that im the bad energy in the room pic.twitter.com/rez4ktZTZf
— IG:TWlTTERSHII ? (@LunarLiqueur) September 19, 2018
7. The great divide
Nobody gets funny later.
are you funny or did you have a happy childhood?
— yung depression (@TeiaOK) April 25, 2020
This guy’s got big ideas and we’re on board for them.
what idiot called it a "randomized clinical trial controlled with placebo" and not "trick or treatment"
— PAPR Roach (@ACflurane) October 8, 2018
5. Time flies
Lol, as though we’re still gonna be around in 2080.
*Thanksgiving dinner 2080*
Me (has dementia): this turkey has big dick energy
My great grandson: bro what the fuck
— ??? (@nipseysrevenge) July 12, 2018
4. Big *fish* energy
Gotta pull yourself up by your gill flaps.
I just want the confidence of the first prehistoric fish who crawled out of the water like fuck this I’m gonna change my life.
— Kerry on Wayward Son (@EmissaryKerry) June 15, 2020
3. Flushed with anger
The wave of the future is always frightening.
Indoor plumbing must have been a hard sell to some people, like "you want me poop INSIDE the house? Where I LIVE?"
— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) June 15, 2020
2. Additional features
Might have to deal with some of the junk in my trunk.
Salesman: *slaps my back* This bad boy right here might be a little bigger than what you’re looking for but he cleans house without even being asked to.
— octopus/caveman (@OctopusCaveman) December 26, 2019
This is an absolutely shocking revelation.
with great power comes great electricity bill
— Pakalu Papito (@pakalupapitow) September 18, 2019
Hope you liked those, and if you did, click around! We got lots more around here. And none of them are actually tricks. We lied about that.
Saying there were tricks WAS the trick! What a twist! Eat your heart out, M. Night Shayamalan.
Who’s tweets do you think you could read for hours on end without getting bored?
Tell us about it in the comments.