The natural world is filled with a wide variety of birds each with their unique songs and sounds. But as far as I know, no actual tweet in nature sounds like a tweet from the internet. Unless you have your parrot like, memorize Rob Delaney bits I guess. Which would be pretty great, and I’d definitely like to see it.
So, which is better? Bird tweets? Or people tweets? Let’s find out by looking at these ten funny people tweets while opening our windows to listen to birds.
10. What a twist
Getting served while getting service.
A man is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The female cashier says: "You must be single."
The man answers: “Wow, how did you know that?”
Cashier: “Because you’re ugly.”
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) March 31, 2020
9. Old man liver
If your own peers called you an old soul when you were a kid, you’re now me.
if adults called you an "old soul" when you were a kid you're on at least one anti-depressant now
— Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) July 27, 2020
8. Butterflies in this guy…
I can fly twice as high…
i think mine died, haven’t felt these mfs in a while https://t.co/lDVIQE9CnQ
— cora???? (@_duboiscora) July 13, 2020
7. Remote possibilities
My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.
When you wave the sheets up looking for your remote to keep watching Netflix and you hear that bitch fly across your entire room…. pic.twitter.com/HUWE08ksN3
— pain (@Tatum_Strangely) July 14, 2017
6. Bred for bed
How can I be expected to take care of my own stuff when I’m so tired from helping other people?
Me in other people’s house vs in my house pic.twitter.com/pUDNRe10Po
— Giuly (@Princessofwifi) May 31, 2018
5. Split attention
Quiet small screen, big screen has the floor.
When the tv show you put on for background noise gets interesting pic.twitter.com/7joCyfBkXN
— dont mind me im just (@chuckybrewster) July 23, 2020
4. Don’t dead, open inside
Whomever printed this must have been on their very first day of literacy.
my stupid ass read this as “ you don’t matter , give up “ ??♀️??♀️ pic.twitter.com/eZuhgOKRpV
— ♐️ (@kiyanahhr) January 15, 2019
3. Just you wait
So help me God, I’ll show you all! Tomorrow or maybe next week sometime!
MY PARENTS DIDN’T RAISE A QUITTER!! They raised ᵃ ᴾʳᵒᶜʳᵃˢᵗᶦⁿᵃᵗᵒʳ
— grant (@gawill245) April 15, 2020
2. Nature vs nurture
I tried the same Google and it just said “Ben, don’t.”
a month ago i googled the easiest plant to take care of and bought it and now it’s dead
— kelly (@BoyYeetsWorld) July 10, 2020
1. Measuring up
This is one of the weirdest little joys and I’m so glad to see it expressed by another human.
i love using a measuring cup for only water. it’s like, you’re still clean bud. you get to skip the wash. go right back to the cabinet.
— jude (@friends3000) February 23, 2020
After examining those, I think I’m ready to make a call and say that bird tweets cannot stack up to human tweets. We’ve beaten you at your own game, you feathery idiots. Pack it in. Fly away home.
Are people better than birds? Are birds better than people?
Tell us your thoughts on this important topic in the comments.