When Beyonce wrote her iconic song single ladies, an anthem to singlehood, she herself was married to Jay Z.
At the time of writing more than a decade later, she still is. I’m tempted to wonder what Jay feels every time she belts out the anthem to not being with anyone she created while five years into marriage with him. He gets it, I’m sure. It’s showbiz.
And that’s how I make myself feel better about singlehood all the time. I just tell myself “that’s showbiz, baby,” and then I read these funny tweets.
10. What are you, chicken?
When we make eye contact as I am doing the same from my vehicle, we’ll both know.
One day, some guy is gonna see me eating a whole rotisserie chicken with my bare hands in my parked car and think "That's her, she's the one".
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) November 18, 2018
9. Buying in bulk
Sounds good, how much do I need to invest?
how about we start a dating app where we match up ppl who want to split bulk items from costco up into individual person servings
— sher🥺 (@sherrysworld) September 28, 2020
8. Changing expectations
One day my prince will come. Here, specifically.
Single at 23: “I have to go out and meet someone!”
Single at 29: “If it’s meant to be the right person will find me in my home.”
— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) September 1, 2018
7. Playing the odds
So it’s a high probability day then?
I choose my underwear for the day based on how likely I am to have sex.
Today I'm wearing a used grocery bag I found floating across the highway.
— Wonderstruck 🇨🇦 (@metickleu) October 2, 2019
6. Very considerate
The algorithms are getting to know us and it’s terrifying.
NETLFIX: Are you still watching?
NETFLIX: Do you want it on in the background anyway to fill the deafening silence of your loneliness?
— Alex Bell (@alexbell) August 11, 2018
5. But how?
We’ve done it, we’ve broken all the digital barriers.
perks of being single pic.twitter.com/9G3vmL8qZS
— glex (@mcjulianns) June 25, 2017
4. The conundrum
Yes, and I don’t appreciate having to look at this with my eyes.
Y'all ever been so single you don't have anyone to drunk text?
— College Is My Life (@TheColIegeLife) February 23, 2018
3. The upside down
You go right, we’ll take what’s left.
new tinder idea: upload all my photos upside down so girls turn their phone to look at them, obviously realise am ugly and swipe left but of course that's now actually right bing bang boom match
— ethan (@human_dis4ster) July 21, 2018
2. The matchmaker
Siri is tired of your crap and trying to make something happen for you.
I JUST ASKED SIRI IF A CERTAIN BOY WOULD EVER TEXT ME AND SHE SENT A TEXT SAYING WILL YOU EVER TEXT ME TO HIM. My funeral will be held at 8pm this Thursday.
— Ceci ✮ (@CeciMula) January 17, 2018
1. The grass is always greener
What a fun lesson to relearn every few years.
Dating is basically hanging out with someone until you realize you‘d have a better time by yourself
— wittyidiot (@stephenszczerba) September 28, 2020
If you’re single, I feel ya. I mean I don’t, because we’re both alone in different places. Ok, I made myself sad again.
What do you think is the best thing about being single?
Tell us in the comments.