Ah, relationships. Can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em.
It feels like we spend at least half our energy in life just trying to tweak our partnerships to get ’em just right, like futzing with the AC on a hot day, except there’s sex involved. It can lead to some of our greatest comforts and joys, and our most significant pains and sorrows. Faced with a subject that vastly meaningful, it seems that we can only stand in awe, and tweet about it.
Here are 10 singlehood tweets to help us all comprehend just what the hell we’re even doing.
10. Hate and hate alike
There’s a delicate balancing act to be struck here.
I’m single because I hate people but I want to find one person who I don’t hate who also hates people but doesn’t hate me.
— Hannah Berner (@beingbernz) May 4, 2019
9. The side eye
I’ve heard worse reasons not to sign a lifelong contract.
just realized when you get married everyone looks at your side profile the whole ceremony so that’s gonna be a no from me dawg
— emma !!! (@emma_kronmiller) July 6, 2020
8. Currency conversion
Try as I might I can find no flaw in this reasoning.
Venmo should also be used to request money from exes for wasting your time in relationships, since time = money. #Showerthoughts
— Stephanie Myers (@_StephanieMyers) May 14, 2020
7. Picture perfect
Can you also erase them from my memory, Eternal Sunshine style?
for $10 i will edit your ex out of your photo serious inquiries only pic.twitter.com/QDLfNlb86u
— feral abomination (@HEXGIRLFRlEND) January 9, 2020
What can we say but yikes.
i wanna be in love but also yikes
— lexie (@lexie_oliveira) June 1, 2017
I’m expecting a large refund for this.
TurboTax: What did you pay last year?
Me: Attention to all the wrong men
— Sara K. Runnels (@omgskr) February 19, 2020
4. Consider the following
Oops my finger slipped.
BREAKING: ex boyfriend now dating girl he swore he followed “by accident” when we were together
— Dana Donnelly (@danadonly) July 14, 2020
3. Hot singles in your area
You don’t have to be far away to be far away.
I don’t get why people who live in other cities change their swipe location to mine. I’m not looking for an unavailable guy who lives in Montreal, I’m looking for an unavailable guy who lives here
— defne gencler (@omgitsdef) July 8, 2020
2. The final countdown
Oh boy I’m due any minute now!
You’re only like 3 toxic relationships, 2 entanglements & 1 rock bottom away from finding your soulmate
— wittyidiot (@stephenszczerba) July 14, 2020
1. Divorce Selfie
Divorce Selfie!! pic.twitter.com/eg2FjSFof9
— Divorce Selfie (@DivorceSelfie) May 23, 2020
We as a species may never fully get the hang of navigating relationships, but we sure can have some good times along the way. Plus we can tweet jokes at each other about our pain, so in the end, it’s all pretty worthwhile.
On a scale from 1-10, how single are you right now?
Describe your situation in the comments.