Did you know that on average there are an astonishing 500 million tweets sent out every day? That’s 3.5 billion per week. Facing those stats, it’s a pretty daunting task to pick a top 10 from any given week, but that doesn’t stop anybody from trying.

Here are the “top” 0.000000003% of this week’s tweets for you reading enjoyment!

10. He moves in mysterious ways

9. The cure is worse than the disease

8. Identity theft is not a joke

7. It’s a therapy pet

6. Bootstrap it

5. These are trying times

4. Ah yes the third law of physics

3. Florida man strikes again

2. You have as many hours in the day as Anna Kendrick

1. Live it up while you can

Well that last one was way too real so I’m gonna close things out now and go think about my life.

What’s your favorite recent tweet?

Tell us in the comments.