Did you know that “TWITTER” stands for Terse Word Inventions To Tell Everyone to Read?

I’ll bet you didn’t know that. Because it’s not true. I made it up just now.

The founders of the company named it “Twitter,” because they basically just thought that sounded nice.  That’s the thing about Twitter though, there’s really not too much of a rhyme or reason to it, it’s just sort of a barrage of what sounds nice, or what feels right in the moment. Little bits of thought flotsam floating through the internet for us to catch as we pass by. People use it as a platform to talk about all kinds of things, but the best stuff, we can all agree, is the funny stuff.

Here are your top 10 random tweets for the day that just feel right.

10. This blows

I have follow-up questions concerning pizza rolls specifically.


9. Boy oh boy

We were all little terrors, weren’t we?

8. Raised by a cup of coffee

This guy should write ads for Folgers.

7. Three hundred point turn

It’s one of those things you only learn out of necessity.

6. Seven deadly sims

There are 7 things the Lord detests, 8 He finds too dank.

5. Weasel words

Nature is truly amazing and also sneaky.

4. The Book of Donkey

Day by day, he watches ogre us.

3. Infinite playlist

Gotta wait a full year to year the next song, too.

2. Verbal dexterity

Shakespeare himself could not craft a witticism so sharp.


1. Phone, keys, wallet

I feel personally attacked and I’m not even mad about it.


Thank you, people of Twitter, for taking the time to shoot your random thoughts into cyberspace for us. It makes the digital world a better place.

What are you favorite tweets?

Tell us about ’em in the comments.