Full disclosure: I am what we in the business call “a guy.” And as a guy, one thing I have always been grateful for is the fact that I. Don’t. Have. To. Experience. Periods. Of course I only know about their horrors secondhand, but what horrors they are! I truly commend all of ya’ll whose bodies give you no choice but to soldier through this monthly maelstrom. You’re the real MVPs.
Maybe these will help, a little? In that way that being seen kinda helps? Here are 10 of the best period Tweets/jokes out there. Period.
10. Love at first sight
Pain, pain, go away, come again another day.
How i look at ibuprofen on my period pic.twitter.com/YHfNulA05X
— Luska (@heru_mnaa) July 21, 2019
9. Period punctuation
Get it? Because it comes at the end of a sentence. I’ll see myself out now.
I just said to someone “im as sad as ive ever been & don’t know why”
And on the word “why” got my period
— Cameron Esposito (@cameronesposito) February 14, 2018
8. Trade off
Shady’s back…tell a friend…
Period:?Guess who's back… Back again?
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.
— Lacey Nycole (@LaceyNycole) December 5, 2015
7. True grief
If this is true, how come Taylor Swift never writes any songs about it?
Getting your period on the day of an important event https://t.co/yEOtZYuVl0
— Angel ✨? (@angelashblair) May 25, 2018
6. Jekyll and hide
There are two wolves inside you. One of them is the worst.
who i am and who i am on my period are two completely different bitches
— Taylor Lynn (@iamtaylorlynn) November 28, 2018
5. Step right up!
Imagining a carnival barker trying to do this is absolutely hilarious.
You should bare minimum get a carnival prize for accurately guessing the exact hour your period shows up
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) September 8, 2018
4. Out of nowhere
“No way to see this coming” says body that literally goes through a cycle of it.
MY PERIOD: has been arriving with regularity for about 17 years, meaning I have experienced it more than 200 times
ME EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN MONTH, BUCKLING SIDEWAYS OUT OF MY CHAIR: oh what the whole holy FUCKhell is happening
— Rave Sashayed (@_sashayed) July 20, 2018
3. Just in case
Pretty intimidating figures to add up.
i wanna know how much money my paranoid ass has spent on pregnancy tests bc i’m 4 hours late on my period
— selenas (@bettyboof_) July 18, 2018
2. Break out!
All of the above? Who knows, the human body is the worst.
Did I break out bc I wore makeup or because I used a new makeup remover or because I’m gonna be on my period in a week or bc I’ve been eating or bc I’m sad or bc I’m stressed ? Which is it
— Justice for Breonna Taylor (@mikiwimango) October 24, 2018
I shouldn’t laugh but I am though.
got my period pic.twitter.com/DGCLBGySbE
— beth|simp for lexa & alycia (@hawtheda) July 7, 2020
As I said, mad props to everyone who’s gotta deal with this. And huge bonus points for smiling through the pain enough to write funny tweets about it. You’re the heroes Gotham needs.
What’s the worst thing about periods?
Tell me in the comments.