I’m not a tech expert by any means, but here’s how I think Twitter works.

First, someone has a thought. This thought then bypasses the prefrontal cortex of the brain – the part in charge of judgement and impulse control – and heads directly to the thumbs, which pound it into a phone.

The phone then says a special prayer to the Twitter computer servers, which are somewhere in space maybe, and The Cloud precipitates the thought onto various screens throughout the world, at which point the thought is transferred into my brain by way of light wave-particle thingies.

And the result? Wonderful mild chuckles. Such as these gems! Enjoy this selection of internet science-magic.

10. Well…fair

9. It’s like this algorithm KNOWS me!


8. Bare bones prices

7. I only skimmed this one

6. Unsubscribe

5. Sweet over sweat

4. Tim Cook bout to get crushed


3. Need a stepladder to kiss

2. A failure to communicate

1. This guy’s on a roll


Surely this is what the global internet infrastructure was created for. Thanks, Twitter. Thanks, Tweeters.

Who’s your favorite twitter personality to follow?

Let us know in the comments.