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Oh boy… we’re all having “a week” aren’t we?
Well, it’s about to get a lot better because we’ve found 10 tasty tweets that are sure to make you laugh with glee.
And, bonus, they’re all written by women! So now you can say you’ve done your part of feminism this week!
That was easy…
1. I promise! I’m always like this!
me trying to convince you i'm chill pic.twitter.com/ASD8C1R9M3
— julia shiplett (@juliashiplett) August 27, 2019
2. I’ve tried this and it works PERFECTLY
if you’re feeling depressed try drinking some coffee so you can have anxiety instead
— Sarah Beattie (@nachosarah) August 28, 2019
3. I can have it both ways, and there’s nothing you can say to convince me otherwise…
me when i see a crush has watched my story: “lol, wow he’s obsessed with me.”
me when i see a crush has not watched my story: “he is actively trying to play it cool. lol, wow he’s obsessed with me.”
— molly kiernan (@mollykiernan) August 29, 2019
4. I want that chocolate bar…
"I have a dream that my children will not be judged by the color of their chocolate, but by the content of their creamy filling.” – Martin Luther King Jr https://t.co/Pm4fVSP2vk
— ziwe (@ziwe) August 29, 2019
5. Just Aunt probs… no biggie…
“Aww sorry, straight white man, looks like this GIRL BOSS just ran out of all her allotted FUCKS to give for the day! ?????”
-me, replying to my nephew asking me if I can please take him to the doctor because he has a fever & his nose, ears, eyes, & anus won’t stop bleeding ?
— Patti Harrison (@Party_Harderson) August 26, 2019
6. “Oh, you think I should have kids, do you?”
A fun thing to do when people ask you why you don’t have kids is to give really ridiculous answers:
– it’s an affront to God and I like upsetting him
– bandits made off with my ovaries in the night
– a forest witch cursed my womb
– I did but I traded them for some magic beans
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) August 30, 2019
7. Ahem… bad bitches… take note!
You coulda had a bad bitch!! But instead you chose me so thank you
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) August 29, 2019
8. The struggle is real… tiny
Flying a $9 chihuahua-sized crop top at half mast today out of respect for Forever 21's bankruptcy filing
— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) August 29, 2019
9. Oh those crazy Russians!
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but the Russian version of “have your cake and eat it too” is “eat fish and sit on a dick”
— Ruth Madievsky (@ruthmadievsky) August 29, 2019
10. WTF is this stuff????
Your biceps are beyond compare
with bulging muscles everywhere
chiseled quads, and pecs like Wolverine
Your jawline hard as winter rain
your brow is proud, a jutting plane
I cannot compete with you Brolene pic.twitter.com/W4xc3D64Os
— Hadassah Grace (@GraceHadassah) August 29, 2019
Alright, so now that you’ve laughed at least 10 times… what are you doing this weekend? Any plans? Because we’ve got a bunch of other posts you should check out.
Until then, be good, stay safe, and let us know your fave tweets from this list… in the comments!