Look, not to sound like a 90’s stand-up hack comedian but what’s the deal with engagement rings?

No matter what kind of person you are – young, old, conservative, liberal, pious, non-religious, partier, teetotaler – one of the few points of cultural agreement we all seem to have is that if you’re going to get married, you’d BETTER go buy a ring with a shiny rock on it and that rock had BETTER be big and cost LOTS of money or you, generally, have failed.

It’s real weird when you think about it. And even weirder when you hear about some of the petty ways people react to the rings, as per these anonymous confessions.

10. “Ring is hideous”

Really? HIDEOUS? Like it’s a demonic snake or something? Like it frightens you out of a room?

Source: Whisper

9. “Kinda hurt”

“That poor woman has love but a not-particularly-large piece of jewelry. Surely she is forsaken.”

Source: Whisper

8. “Too big”

There really is such a thing.

Source: Whisper

7. “She hardly bat an eye”

Was she happy about the engagement?

Source: Whisper

6. “So much crap”

Bluest is coolest.

Source: Whisper

5. “I regret not punching my ex”

You can make a lot of coats out of this load of petty.

Source: Whisper

4. “Some woman made a comment”

If a married person places a ton of importance on the size of your ring, I feel like that’s a sign their own marriage lacks any substance.

Source: Whisper

3. “How much did it cost?”

That’s really all any of this is about, right?

Source: Whisper

2. “Is it real?”

No, it’s a hologram. I’m projecting it from my iPhone 13.

Source: Whisper

1. “Too young”

Nah.

Source: Whisper

Well, don’t worry. Soon you’ll have a whole different ring and you can start all over with this.

Have you had an experience like these?

Tell us in the comments.