Yeah, now we’re talking! 11 hilarious tweets to read and share with our friends who can’t find funny things on the internet, so we have to send all that sh^t to them.
Seriously, being the funny friend is SUCH a burden, but it’s something we must do or else our friends would never laugh.
1. Oh… don’t they wish…
high school teachers: your college professors won’t be nearly as laid back as I am
my college professor: pic.twitter.com/ivKLR4afxX
— M (@atmckenna) October 16, 2019
2. Damn Matt… what you do?!
have you or a family member ever dated a guy named matt. you maybe entitled to compensation
— discount miranda cosgrove (@sarahworseryer) October 15, 2019
3. It’s clearly option #2. Duh.
if a centaur had a d%ck would it be like THIS or like THIS: pic.twitter.com/HoXY0oAu6D
— erin chack (@ErinChack) October 17, 2019
4. It’s settled. Thanks for playing.
me my bananas
slowly rotting in my house
— Dumb but curious (@InternetHippo) September 29, 2019
5. Yep. Makes perfect sense.
REMINDER: Beginning October 1, clowns must be licensed and vaccinated.
— DPRK News Service (@DPRK_News) October 1, 2019
6. Jim: “This one is named Fonzie! And this is Ms. Piggy!” Everybody: “Call the police.”
date: can you take off your work gloves
Jim Henson: they have names
— jo diggity (@WhaJoTalkinBout) October 4, 2019
7. No no… they’re perfect…
guy: its beautiful. quick question tho why are their d%cks so small
michelangelo: they aren’t small lol
michelangelo: [nervous] wait are they small
— randy (@leakypod) October 3, 2019
Any 3 things can be a sandwich
— Jeff is Tall (@JeffisTallguy) October 1, 2019
9. Hey, he’s just asking…
wife, giving birth: we have got to get to the hospital ASAP
me: who’s all gonna be there
— bad boy (@badboychadhoy) October 3, 2019
10. TELL US!!!
what do flight attendants laugh about so much in their little section at the front of the plane, tell us your secret jokes you flying bastards
— k e i t h ?? (@KeetPotato) September 23, 2019
11. Forever Alone
— ddlt (@dezdelatorre) October 8, 2019
All. Pure. Fire.
Which ones made you LOL? Like, literally LAUGH OUT LOUD. Not a chuckle. Laugh THE f*ck out loud?
Drop a comment and let us know!