Okay, so you’re an adult now, right? Back in the day DAY you would be plowing some field or raising your seventh child, but these days the toughest question we have to ponder is why our Netflix recommendations are so f*cked up.
“No Netflix! I don’t want to watch the new, straight-to-Netflix film starring John Travolta! Why did you even give him money to make this? There wasn’t some other movie you could have funded?!”
Or something like that…
Never mind. Here are some tweets.
1. Back when things actually meant something
2. Yeah, but I don’t have THAT food…
3. I have failed according to this criteria
4. Do our parents still count?
5. I don’t have Purse Advil. I have Backpack Advil.
6. OMG. I’m gonna cry!
7. Hey, if the furnace ever fails…
8. It’s called the Irish Goodbye, and you don’t have to be drunk to do it.
9. These people are god d*mn superhumans
10. Steam EVERYTHING!
11. Well, at least we’re being honest with ourselves for ONCE!
I don’t know if I actually feel any better, but I definitely will tell people I feel better. Which is basically the same thing, right?
Oh look! It’s 9:30 p.m. Time for bed!