We’ve all had that moment, when someone asks us to do or eat or drink something, when our head starts shaking “nope” before they can even get the words out.
That one thing we tried once and will never, ever do again.
These 12 people share theirs on Reddit and honestly, it’s hard to argue with any of them.
12. I feel like we’re missing crucial parts of this story.
Having a friend stay in your house to “get back on their feet”.
Lost a friend and almost murdered my husband. Good times.
11. Yes I’ll just take the nice float down the river.
Mountain biking.
Sh^t’s crazy. I’ve jumped out of planes many times but after my first downhill on a mountain bike for the first time I was quivering with fear.
No more mountain bikes for me.
10. There are a lot of issues in this one post, tbh.
M**turbating in my parents-in-law’s bathroom.
So my wife and i headed to martha’s vineyard over the weekend because her parents own a house there. the problem is her parents are crazy conservative and look pissy whenever i try to show some sort of affection for my wife, whether it’s kissing her, rubbing her back, etc. so obviously f*cking my wife in their vacation house was out of the question considering the walls in the house are paper thin, my wife can’t shut her mouth while we s*x, and the bed we slept on was incredibly creaky. So her parents would totally know if we were f*cking. and considering i’m a dude who constantly needs to get off (my wife and i have s^x at least once every day), i was going bananas.
So, on the second night, while we were all watching a movie in the family room, i decided to wank it really quick in the bathroom. i grabbed my iphone and headphones and went into the bathroom so i can watch some porn and j^rkit.
Well, long story short, i was gone longer than i thought it was, the dad got worried, i forgot that i needed to double lock the bathroom door, and he walked in on me jerking it over his toilet (to cum into the toilet bowl) to a jenna jameson pov bl**job video.
it was totally f*cked.
9. Bless.
Suicide.
Tried it once. Never want to do it again.
At least that is what I tell myself.
When you deal with serious mental illness suicide is this bomb you hope never goes off.
8. I like your passion, sir.
F**k.
Cross.
Country.
Skiing.
F**K IT.
7. For a YEAR?
I once touched my pinky to a Gimpie Gimpie plant. I was in pain for a year.
No, I don’t think you understand. I didn’t even get as far as touching my hand to the leaf — one f*cking pinky — and I immediately doubled over and threw up from the pain. My friends were laughing until I started crying like a bitch. It still burns when I think about it.
Stupid thing was, the reason we sought the plant out was because we were told what it could do, and to stay away from it. Future Australian tour guides: do not mention gimpie gimpie plants to Americans. My friends and I were on a hike, and were even given antihistamines just in case we ran into the plant.
Anyway, I lived. We ran back to the car, and I swear I was going blind from the pain. It even hurt to breathe; my whole body felt like it was on fire, originating from my pinky. Imagine being stabbed by a thousand burning, acidic needles, again and again and again, and having hot and cold flashes while you’re throwing up and not trying to piss or sh^t yourself. We finally got to the hospital, and I thought I was dying.
In the emergency room the nurse pulled off the microscopic stinging hairs with what was like leg waxing paper, and then they doused my hand in warm water and rubbed on some medicine that really didn’t help.
I was in pain for MONTHS afterwards. WHY? Because I was 20, a fucking stupid tourist, and I wanted to see how much badass this plant had in it. Wrong move, my friends. Never challenge nature.
Gimpie gimpie leaves are what Satan uses to torture hell’s worst offenders, and I’ll bet you even he won’t touch them. If you’ve got some death wish and want to be in the worst agony you have ever been in your life, go and touch a Gimpie Gimpie plant. It is the mother of mother nature’s vengeful hellfire, and is worse than four of your four horseman burgers, ten of your ghost peppers, and your granny’s meatloaf all mixed in a big pot of f*ck-to-the-no together. That was the worse pain my stupid ass has ever went through. It’s a [deceivingly plain-looking plant] , and if it doesn’t scare you more than underwater volcanic cave diving at night with rapist serial killers, it should.
TL;DR: My pinky touched a Gimpie Gimpie plant, and I thought I was going to die from the pain. Never again, Australia, you as$hole.
6. I’m gagging just reading this.
One time I accidentally drank my roommate’s phlegm. I still gag thinking about it.
EDIT: To elaborate: One night when I was in college I was really, really drunk and returning to my dorm. I was super thirsty and already drank every bit of water in the room when I noticed my roommate’s water bottle on his desk. He wasn’t there and I assumed it was just water so had no problem drinking it, and when I took a big giant swig I instantly went grey face, ran into the closest stairwell, and puked everywhere. At the time I had no clue what it was and just assumed I was sick from drinking a ton.
The next day I meet my roommate and some friends and the first thing I ask him is what was in that bottle. His face drops and he goes “dude…that’s my loogie bottle.” Everyone in the group froze staring at me, who was frozen staring at him. I excused myself, walked into the bathroom, and hurled for about 15 minutes.
EDIT 2: I don’t know why he had a loogie bottle.
5. Bahahahaha.
Google+
4. Or The English Patient.
Watching Requiem for a Dream.
3. Never gamble. You’ll lose.
Eating a bunch of Taco Bell and swearing i could wait till the last second to take a sh^t.
Normally i have both the seat and lid up, so my ritual is to set the seat down and squat in the same motion. but i was running so fast to the toilet that day that i didn’t see the seat was already down. so i let the lid down, squatted on it and released a squirt of runny sh^t before realizing i was sh^tting on the lid instead of into water.
Not a good day of cleanup. AND i ran out of toilet paper
edit: everyone who replied = semantic dillweeds
2. What did you think was going to happen? You would like it?
Putting my pinky finger in a personal pencil sharpener.
1. Who could blame you?
Anal s*x…my ex and I were having s*x, he’s going from the back and its great until he goes for my butt, completely unannounced, he got about 3 thrusts in before I pretty much donkey kicked him and squirmed away…so horribly painful, I cried, bled a little, didn’t talk to him for a few days, wouldn’t have s^x with him for like 2 weeks and even then had to be on top every time because I didn’t trust him anymore…broke up about a month or so later.
Anyway, I don’t care what anyone says about “Don’t let one bad experience ruin it forever…” and all that, I will never ever let anyone put anything in my butthole ever again. Not happening, sorry babe, never ever, I will buy you a butthole fleshlight but I’m not down with anal.
So many that are drinking related (mine is peppermint schnapps!).
Do you have a no-no never again list? What’s on it?
Share with us in the comments!