They say that the grass is always greener on the other side. When you’re in a relationship, you can sometimes feel stuck. When you’re single, you can feel pretty lonely. The big difference is that when you’re single, people laugh at your pain. So that’s fun!
But the ultimate redeeming irony of it all is that even though we’re single, we’re not alone. There are plenty of uncoupled folks on Twitter making great jokes about it, so we can stop crying into our pillows for a minute and emit sad chuckles instead. Let the depressive chuckling begin!
12. Who what when where how
It’s an older burn, but it checks out.
STOP asking WHY I'm single. I don't ask HOW you're still married!
— RoulaNahas 🌐 (@RoulaNahas) December 13, 2012
11. Nothing in-between
Miss me with that middling mess.
I wanna be loved correctly or left the fuck alone completely. ✍🏽🤷🏽♀️🗣
— J A D A J O N E $ 🦋✨ (@jada_marieeeeee) September 1, 2019
10. Popped heart
When your breakfast gets more action than you.
You know it’s lonely when you’re jealous that even Pop Tarts come in packages of 2.
— Missy Baker (@TheMissyBaker) May 16, 2020
9. Hugs AND drugs
The endless conundrum.
I need a hug but I hate everyone.
— AlwaysAshley (@AshleyAlready) April 30, 2020
8. Like Freddy Kruger
If you cry in your dreams, you cry in real life.
You delete his number, mute him on insta, block on twitter… only for him to turn up in your dream??????????????????
— RitaB (@MsRitaB) April 19, 2020
7. Reality bites
We’re all gonna turn into pragmatists real fast.
https://twitter.com/RachelLeishman/status/1262815693428449286
6. Single and ready to deny it
They say dress for the job you want, not the job you have.
I'm single and be ignoring people like I'm taken 😴
— __julissa.s_ (@JulissaSantos10) June 10, 2014
5. Arrested development
You’re not gonna change him.
https://twitter.com/timszu/status/1196156287102455813
4. Admit defeat
There’s a song for every occasion.
Dating in your 20s Dating in your 30s pic.twitter.com/yjwle7DVr9
— Lizzie Logan (@lizzzzzielogan) May 19, 2020
3. Status symbol
Yeah and I’m in a relationship with this box of Cheez-Its, who cares?
I just don’t know how I feel about people who have “married” as the first thing in their bio… like is mine supposed to read “fk’d over one too many times?”
— Lisa Mila (@milamiarose) May 20, 2020
2. Love languages
We established this convention way back in the days of AIM.
https://twitter.com/ginnyhogan_/status/1262104481853923328
1. Not today, Satan
It’s fun to pretend.
Going on a dating app just to match with people and never talk is almost as fun as filling up your shopping cart and then just closing the tab.
— Hannah Berner (@beingbernz) May 16, 2020
If you’re single, I hope you feel OK about it. Remember, you’re a person and you’ve got worth all on your own. Also most of these other people suck, so, really you’ve done well to avoid them. There should be a medal for singlehood or something. We’re the real heroes.
What’s the best/worst thing about being single?
Share your opinion in the comments.