I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news. The bad news is, there are murder hornets. The good news is, I lied, there is no good news, there are murder hornets. But at least there are some funny tweets about murder hornets, so we got that going for us, which is nice.
It should be said that though these nasty buggies are the meme of the moment, that’s not an excuse for us to be dumb. People are killing off helpful insects in cases of mistaken identity. DON’T do that. DO make jokes. Like these!
12. Netflix and definitely not chill
I’m not a fan of reality at the moment.
Murder Hornets sounds like it should be a 6-part docuseries on Netflix not our reality for the month of May
— notanothertruecrimepod (@NATCpod) May 4, 2020
11. This is not a game
We’re gonna have dragons next.
Could whoever is in charge of the simulation stop letting your little brother press all the buttons https://t.co/Hqp3ZyYcr7
— Kat Dennings (@OfficialKat) May 3, 2020
10. At least it can’t get any worse…
Famous last words.
You know what 2020 was missing? Murder Hornets. https://t.co/mDyHsUF8WK
— Carol Roth (@caroljsroth) May 2, 2020
9. Friend or foe?
This would be…better? Maybe?
Ok hear me out…what if we train the murder hornets to kill the mosquitoes?
— Matt “The Ostrich” Mitchell (@ALostrich) May 3, 2020
8. Over it
Don’t mess with Texas, it is already thoroughly messed with.
2020: We brought you some murder hornets.
The South: Great. Put ‘em over there with the giant spiders, man-eating mosquitoes, ticks that makes you allergic to meat, and the 67 types of venomous snakes.
— It's a Southern Thing (@southernthing) May 4, 2020
7. Law enforcement
Government said “y’all don’t wanna stay inside? Hold it right there we got something for ya”
— Quin’darius (@quindarius_) May 2, 2020
6. No not like that
I appreciate the enthusiasm, but…
Governments: please stay inside.
Universe: I’ll take it from here. MURDER HORNETS
— Betches (@betchesluvthis) May 4, 2020
5. I dreamed a dream
Ok now go make that reality.
I had a dream about the murder hornets last night and you know what? They’re actually not terrifying at all and are really nice to talk to and they make the most amazing pistachio macarons.
— 30andTired (@30andTired) May 5, 2020
4. What’s it gonna be today?
Learning is not fun.
Today’s apocalypse word of the day is Murder Hornet brought to you by the letter M. pic.twitter.com/vq6h5v4OwJ
— Gracie Wiley (@Gracie_Wiley) May 4, 2020
3. The real monster
I always knew Godzilla was our ally.
Japan sending in Godzilla to fight the murder hornets.
(circa June 2020, colorized) pic.twitter.com/Ia2TddH6CV
— Yoko Higuchi (@resistance0101) May 13, 2020
2. Hornet hors d’oeuvres
Everything is palatable with bacon.
When the murder hornets reach the deep South. pic.twitter.com/86QwabgKwO
— Weird Movie Brothers (@WeirdMovieBros) May 13, 2020
1. Gotta kill ’em all
this is how I imagine a murder hornet and you can't change my mind pic.twitter.com/0k6GR3J9TZ
— MillerLite (@roycemiller123) May 14, 2020
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go live in a bunker before reality becomes that episode of Black Mirror with the killer bees app, because the way this year is going I guarantee you that’s what’s coming next.
How are you protecting yourself from the murder hornets?
Share your survival strategy in the comments.