Parents of the world, we all know how tough you have it raising those little monsters/angels you decided to bring into the world. And sometimes you just need to laugh.
So that’s why we’re here! To bring you a collection of hilarious tweets that wouldn’t be possible without your constant, relentless suffering. Is you have a thankless job, and we all should bow down before you and give you the respect you deserve.
To the tweeple!
1. Your baby ain’t perfect Cheryl!
I’m tired of hearing new moms always say their baby is “such a good baby.” Just once, I wanna hear a mom be like, “Yeah, no, my baby’s a real d%ck.”
— SpacedMom (@copymama) March 11, 2019
2. Down for the usual 20 loads…
It’s the fre*kin’ weekend baby, I’m about to do 15 loads of laundry.
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) October 19, 2018
3. Nightmare fuel
I don’t care how cute your kid is. When you wake up in the middle of the night and see them standing next to your bed, they are terrifying.
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) August 1, 2016
4. The games we play…
I love the meaningful conversations I have with my son.
“YOU BETTER DIE IN YOUR FORTNITE GAME BECAUSE DINNER IS READY IN 5 MINUTES!”
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) April 15, 2018
5. Oh sh^t… where could it be… ?
Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night.
— Mickey (@Hypercraxy) September 24, 2015
6. Please don’t make me harm this child…
Me: Put your shirt on, please.
Daughter: Where is it?
Me: Right there.
Daughter: I can’t find it!
Me: I’m pointing at it!
Daughter: I CAN’T FIND IT, I’VE LOOKED EVERYWHERE!
Me: MY FINGER IS TOUCHING IT!!!
Daughter: IT’S JUST GONE!!!!
— Momarazzi. (@Mirimade) November 4, 2018
7. So relatable
“If you see a mom carrying a baby and pushing an empty stroller you’re having a better day than she is.” Truth.
— jamie (@jamimalo) December 11, 2018
8. I’ll free something up for you, kid
I just asked my 8yo to quit yelling and he said, “I’m NOT yelling. This is my voice and all my life I’ve been whispering. Now I’m free!”
— JennyPentland (@JennyPentland) December 21, 2013
9. Kids. They’re so thankful.
Prepare for parenthood by memorizing that scene in “The Devil Wears Prada” where Miranda asks Andy to go fetch her a T-Bone steak, & after Andy jumps through hoops to get it for her, Miranda sneers & says “What’s that? I don’t want that” while looking at her like she’s an idiot.
— ☕️MacgyveringMom22? (@MacgyveringM22) February 18, 2019
10. Caffeine to the rescue!
Starbucks, give me strength.
– a Mother’s Prayer
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) November 26, 2018
11. This used to be outside before people thought their kids were constantly going to get kidnapped…
I just want my kids to have a childhood where they play and explore and experience the world around them somewhere on the other side of the house while I take a nap.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) February 21, 2019
12. Okay, no more TV for life. Sorry.
my son asked me to make “something culinary for dinner…like, not from a box” and we’re now 5000% done with Food Network in this house
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) March 13, 2019
Btw, we just wanted to spend a moment to thank you for checking out our site. We know you can read a lot of different content, so we’re glad you chose Humans of Tumblr.
Thanks! You rock!