I’ll bet it’s super great. I’ll bet it’s not a constant source of uncertainty and anxiety as you search for love and connection while the clock of life unthinkingly ticks away and an indifferent grave yawns wide in anticipation of your arrival, unfulfilled and stuffed to the gills with your own regrets.
Sorry. I mean…dating is…fun! Let’s look at some tweets about it!
12. Pay attention
This isn’t really all that complicated.
boys will be like, “we can’t date bc idk if I can give you the attention you deserve :/” bro, you already are, I just want you to stop also fucking that girl that’s prettier than me named samantha or whatever
— jen merritt!!! (@jennifermerr) July 17, 2019
11. Emotional secret intelligence
If you’re gonna know everything about me, at least help me out.
can one of the russians looking through my photos please tell me which ones to use on dating apps i’m having no luck so far
— b (@doyalikebaileys) July 18, 2019
10. Murder she coo’d
Never seen a shadier looking bird in my entire life.
"no, officer, I haven't seen my husband in weeks. yes, I'm terribly worried" pic.twitter.com/Mot2giYC3I
— The Library Owl 🌻🧙♀️🦉 (@SketchesbyBoze) February 7, 2018
9. Hanging around
These are the moments of true introspection that make it all clear.
Being in an open relationship saved my partnership. nothing makes you appreciate your man like fucking a dude with a necklace
— Chelsea Frank (@ChelseaSFrank) June 9, 2018
8. Support system
A lot of them weren’t doing well at the time but I’m sure they’re good now.
if all of the women i’ve met in bar bathrooms aren’t doing well i swear to god
— kate (@kaiteasley) July 13, 2019
7. Romance isn’t dead
You gotta read between the lines, my guy.
I'm calling you dude but like def in a romantic way
— airhead mere (@merestromb) June 23, 2016
6. Star struck
This is a um…very, very specific complaint. Has this happened to you more than once?
guys are like “i love my mom we’re so close” and then u tell them to download costar so u can see your exact astrological compatibility and suddenly it’s all “what? i can’t ask her for my birth time. that’s so weird”
— Dana Donnelly (@danadonly) July 16, 2019
5. Hot and ready
I am also ice cold at my center.
I sexually identify as a microwave dinner because I’m ready in 5 minutes but don’t look anything like my photos.
— Lisa 🏳️🌈🇨🇦 (@xLiserx) October 7, 2017
4. The day is saved
Jake is obviously a Time Lord and you need to respect that.
tinder convos like:
*matched with jake on 2/3/18*
Saturday 2/3/18 1:45pm
Jake: hey 🙂
Saturday 2/3/18 4:27pm
Me: hi! how’s your day going?
Thursday 4/25/19 7:12am
Jake: not too bad, you?
— Laurazewitch (@andlikelaura) April 25, 2019
3. I dew
If your partner doesn’t treat you right like this, it’s time to respect yourself and leave.
DATE: I want to date someone that appreciates the best things in life
ME: [to waiter] Bring me your finest Doritos & a bottle of Mountain Dew for the table, please
— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) February 17, 2019
2. Eye of the beholder
Who do you wanna get praised by today?
Why send sexy pics to dudes for validation when you can update your FB photo and instantly get hundreds of compliments from your middle aged aunts
— Tamara Yajia (@DancesWithTamis) November 11, 2018
1. Comic look
There’s no laid in this lair.
Superman's What I call
Headquarters my box
Fortress of Solitude
— Sara Wren (@sarawrencomedy) May 27, 2019
For real though, dating is tough. Give yourself a break if things aren’t going great. You’re still worth it. We all are.
What piece of dating advice would you like to pass on to the internet?
Leave it in the comments.