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This was the question on Reddit: “What’s the weirdest rule you had in your home growing up?”
And after reading the responses… here’s the follow up question: What the fuck is wrong with people?
Plenty apparently, because these 13 people share insane rules they had to follow when they were growing up. And some of them are rules they put on themselves… because people are dumb.
Get ready for some craziness!
“Salt was for guests only.
The actual use of spices was VERY looked down on in my house and was seen as a huge insult to my mom and dad, even though they were absolutely horrid cooks.”
12. Dumb brother is dumb.
“My dad made up this rule to stop my big brother from asking about getting a dog every 10 seconds.
We had neighbors on both sides who already had dogs, so the rule was that only every OTHER house could have a dog.
My brother believed it for a LONG time.”
11. Liquid sex…
“I couldn’t recline or lay my body down AT ALL if my boyfriend was over.
My mom thought that me laying down would give them ‘thoughts,’ so I couldn’t do it.
Once I put my feet up on the couch while my FIANCÉ was over and my mom got pissed because she thought I was ‘trying to turn him on.'”
10. When you go to prison…
“I wasn’t allowed to put sugar in my tea because my mum told me that ‘when you go to prison they don’t let you have sugar, so it will make prison that much harder.’
1. Thanks for having so much faith in me, mum.
2. I’m pretty sure you are allowed sugar for your tea in prison.”
9. Diverticulosis SUCKS
“My dad had diverticulosis (pockets in the intestine) and couldn’t eat sesame seeds (among other things).
So, when we would eat fast food sandwiches, everyone HAD to give their bottom buns to Dad, in exchange for his top buns.
However, this reasoning was never explained and it was this way from before I born, so it was LITERALLY when I was in college that I realized that it wasn’t normal. I thought it was just ‘Dad Privilege’ to have two bottom buns.”
8. No pizza-balling!
“At my friend’s house they had a ‘no pizza-balling’ rule.
There were three teenage brothers living there, and when they ordered pizzas, tempers flared quickly when someone would try to grab as many slices as they could. The first rule in place was that you couldn’t have more than one slice at a time, and you could grab another once you had the last bite in your mouth. Anyway, one of the brothers quickly figured it out that if you ball up a slice he could fit it in his mouth and grab another one.
Hence the ‘no pizza-balling’ rule.”
7. She timed you?!?
“I could only buy things if I was buying them for a birthday or Christmas gift for somebody else.
Mind you, this was my OWN money I earned from my OWN job.
My mom knew exactly how long it took me to get home from school, so if I stopped at the store she knew, and I’d be in trouble.”
6. Pronoun probs
“My parents acted like referring to them as ‘he’ or ‘she’ while they were in the room was the equivalent of saying ‘fuck you.”
So referring to my parents with pronouns was, effectively, not allowed.”
5. Backdoor blues…
“We were not allowed to use the front door. Ever.
There was a metal screen on it with a deadbolt that needed a key for either side.
My stepdad kept the key and even visitors had to go to the back through the side gate.”
4. What happens to stupid people when they get older?
“When my dad would get home from work, my friend would have to go home. His parents told him that because that meant it was dinnertime and therefore he should come home.
However, him being a child, didn’t grasp that portion of the rule. He only understood ‘come home when the dad gets home.’ This translated in my friend being terrified of my father.
If he saw my dad turning into the driveway, he would drop whatever we were doing and sprint home.”
3. High hats…
“I wasn’t allowed to wear my hat backwards because my dad thought that it was a gang thing.
Mind you, this was in rural Wisconsin in the ’90s.
My parents are wonderful people, they just may not have had the best understanding of the world at that time.”
2. More towels!!!
“We were only allowed one clean towel a week.
We could do whatever we wanted with it, but we didn’t get another clean one until the next week.”
1. The candy trick
“My mom had me believing the Great Pumpkin from the classic It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown special existed.
The rules of Halloween were that I could only pick 10 candies from my trick-or-treat bag and the rest had to be ‘given to the Great Pumpkin.’
In reality, the ‘Great Pumpkin’ was my dad’s work cubicle.”
Note to self…
…gotta use that Great Pumpkin trick when I have kids…