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Jokes are like fine wine… the best ones get better with age.
So I submit to you today a collection of 13 deliciously robust tweets that you will be able to revisit time and time again for the LOLs you need on even your toughest days.
13. Too much upkeep, send it back…
i can't believe i have to keep washing this stupid body until i die
— pascalle (@frenchielaboozi) February 27, 2014
12. Just a little game we all play
We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it's fun to not be able to open that drawer.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 15, 2017
11. It makes it all the more impressive, really
how'd he have time to write all those plays then pic.twitter.com/O6I4qc4YPY
— #softmom (@tatianawrites) March 20, 2017
10. He’s even lying on a canvas
this dog looks exactly how renaissance painters thought dogs looked like and im in love pic.twitter.com/pjFviExBTs
— nelly furtado (@jfurta_) March 6, 2018
9. If you find out, let me know!
I wonder what it's like to be able to put your hair in a low ponytail and not look like a founding father
— Megan ✌︎ (@megan_middle) June 30, 2017
8. Laughing FOREVER!
"Anybody here named Jeff?"
— matt tobey (@mtobey) January 21, 2016
7. Pipe down, liver!
my other organs: please help us .
— sam (@smeezi) July 26, 2017
6. Use your words!
our cats had a fight and my parents are trying to make them resolve it lol pic.twitter.com/O7IHihmPo1
— allie oetken (@allieoets) June 26, 2016
5. If only it were that easy…
ME: ugh turn this off, I hate depressing movies
GOD: This is your life flashing before your eyes
ME: Put Ratatouille on
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) February 26, 2018
finish your salad. a thousand islands died to make that dressing.
— rachelle mandik 🕳 (@rachelle_mandik) January 21, 2016
3. This is seriously where we’ve ended up?
Nailed it. pic.twitter.com/L7mrWA2xC2
— James (@JayGreatorex) January 16, 2017
2. Can I pet him?
[while being tackled by police dog] what's his name?
— brent (@murrman5) July 3, 2017
“Wow 3 tattoos.. those are pretty permanent you know”
Me: wow 3 kids… those are pretty damn permanent CAROL
— Emily Barry (@EmiBarry) July 26, 2017