When John Solomon Twitter first discovered tweets, he couldn’t possibly have imagined what the site would become. Mostly because that’s not a real person and I don’t know much about the founding of Twitter so I made up a story just now. BUT – however it came about, it’s a pretty incredible place to scroll for lols these days.
Enjoy these 13 random samplings of some of the funniest tweets on the whole entire internet webzone.
13. Sweet like honey
They’re the same picture.
This is Honey. She wants you to spot the difference between these two pics. It’s very subtle so please take your time. 13/10 pic.twitter.com/PvC2oGSJcQ
— WeRateDogs® (@dog_rates) May 12, 2020
12. A watched pot
Time works differently while cooking.
let it boil till i say oh shit the egg https://t.co/VljzlJyAVM
— ⁶ (@90smujeriego) May 16, 2020
11. Buck up
And generations were forever scarred.
[Pitching a movie idea to Walt Disney]
“Alright so there’s an adorable little deer…”
Walt Disney: Kill his mom
— WhitePeopleHumor (@whitememejesus) May 17, 2018
10. Snail fail
This is why those things can’t be trusted. They’re basically slugs with body armor.
If snails are so slow, how come nobody sees them coming? It’s always like bam, there’s a snail!
— Gavabunga (@Gavabunga_) April 1, 2017
9. Party on
“Are millennials killing the gender reveal party industry that they created?”
a gender reveal party where its just you and your partner in a doctors office and you ask your doctor what the gender of your baby is and then they tell you and then you go home
— jordan (@jordanrubiks) January 15, 2018
8. Who said that?
Just gotta talk this through.
*talks to myself*
“Why am I talking to myself? I should stop”
I say, while talking to myself…
— Beefy (@NotYourBacon) May 15, 2020
7. Automotive autonomy
And the 2nd rule of Fight Cl-I mean, family gatherings…
1st rule of family gatherings always bring your own vehicle so you can leave when you want.
— ?Cari (@caridad614) January 13, 2019
6. He doth protest too much
This is why we can’t have nice things.
Americans protesting against Coronavirus are the reasons some labels read “do not iron your clothes while wearing them”
— Mother Of Sarcasm (@SarcasmMother) April 20, 2020
Not what I meant, better than I asked for.
Why has this got me HOWLING pic.twitter.com/dN1yvhfQi3
— sophie thompson (@sophxthompson) May 16, 2020
4. Little gulp
Perfect for my puppuccino.
A pup holder…. Ha ha ha ha ha pic.twitter.com/zoAB3qAUqF
— Southern Comfurt (@SoComfurt) April 22, 2013
3. A clean slate
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The #coronavirus situation in my country is so desperate, that sanitarry staff is forced to clean public toilets more than once in a century.
— Joro Marinov (@ForsiMarinov) May 14, 2020
2. I’m cancelled
Let’s be realistic…
I put the 'no' in 'I’ll let you know'
— Dylan Farella (@dfarella) March 7, 2019
1. Calendar calamity
We need to just start all over with measuring the passage of time.
Small weekend is over.. now entering big weekend ☹️
— Jo? (@JoanNatson) April 5, 2020
Remember to reward the folks who make you laugh on Twitter with your likes and your follows. It means a lot to them. And for just the price of a single cup of coffee a day, you can sip a cup of coffee while you read their funny tweets!
Who’s your favorite person to follow right now?
Tell us in the comments.