It should go without saying that school is not the place to engage in any hanky-panky – solo or otherwise – but these 14 kids definitely didn’t get the message.
And, since I’m an adult, all I can think is those poor, poor teachers who had to deal with it.
14. Have a little boy, can confirm.
Preschool teacher here, and this is about to get weird.
One thing kids have in common is they reach an age where the mysteries of their bodies become incredibly fascinating. One aspect of this is when little boys realize they get erections. YES if you’re not a parent or a teacher, little boys get erections, even infants do.
One time when I was teaching 4-5 year olds one little boy was taking way too long in the bathroom. The door went 3/4ths of the way to the ceiling so teachers could monitor, and when I peeked into the bathroom I found one of our little boys exploring himself.
By this I mean he was using his little boner to push the bathroom stall door open, letting it swing back, then pushing it open again.
Kids are f*cking weird
edit: this was the last comment I ever wanted to be upvoted…
13. What a bargain.
I had a substitute once who told us about his experience at a “not so well funded” school.
He was walking down the hall when he saw a line a for the boys bathroom which is an immediate red flag cuz idk about you guys but I’ve never seen a line for a boys bathroom.
Turns out a girl was giving blowjobs in the stall for the low low price of a dollar a piece.
12. Where do kids figure this stuff out?
Back when was an intern I used to spend a lot of time with the school’s IT guy.
One of the duties was updating the browser filter so students couldn’t use the internet freely. This was before laptops were common in schools.
The list of blocked websites included some very weird and fre*ky sites.
11. That’s awkward all the way around.
Summer camp counselor back in late 90s.
A 13 yo girl gave a 13 yo boy a BJ in the woods. The boy stupidly bragged about it to the other kids, another counselor overheard it and reported it to the camp owner/director.
He had both kids brought to the office and they each had to call their parents and tell them why they were getting kicked out of camp…
10. This is major nightmare fodder.
This happened a few months ago, we were playing a game, we were writing on the board and unbeknownst to me the floor was waxed earlier in the day, but as I got the kids to go to the board this one girl slipped and fell face first in to the table that was in front of the board…
Busted out a few teeth, blood on the floor, all over the table….
I honestly thought she died right there. Luckily, she didn’t.
Her parents were chill about what happened, and school paid for any medical problem. I felt like sh^t after that, like she was in my care and I failed her.
I still get nightmares about that day…
9. Is it wrong to be somewhat impressed?
I teach group music lessons.
One group consists of five 9-year-old girls who are learning the flute. While one of them was in the bathroom, another grabbed her flute, held it to her posterior and F*rted on it.
She placed it back on the table and muttered, ‘That’s what she gets for wearing a hat indoors.
8. I hope someone called home.
One of my mom’s students would masterbate in class. Had her feet up on the desk and everything. It was second grade.
7. We all need someone to talk to sometimes.
As a camp counselor I had to separate two boys about 8 years old having a “sword fight” in the bathroom……. Needless to say I was the one who needed to talk to someone after that
Edit: My most up voted comment is about little boys touching tips, yikes
Edit 2: Since y’all wanted details. It was after pool time and we were in the locker room changing. These two boys had gotten pretty friendly, but the issue is one of them had listening issues, because he had deaf parents, bad home issues, anyways he was a good kid but had issues listening. So I was helping another kid change (he was 5 so for them putting on clothes wasn’t always easy). I heard them giggling and one said, I cannot emphasize more that this is real “mines bigger than yours hahaha” and that gathered my attention and I looked over and I was like, hey you two seperate and change. I pulled one over to change on the other side and once they did I took both to the camp office to talk to my boss.
6. I wonder what she needed the money for…
Not a teacher, but multiple times this emo girl was caught jacking off her boyfriend. Whether it be in the lunchroom, the classroom, the bathroom, etc. She always was jacking him off. I walked in on them doing this, but they didn’t notice me. I left the room as soon as I saw them. Last I heard the girl got expelled and the guy got off scot free.
Edit: this girl was getting paid. Not by her boyfriend but by different people. A friend told me that if you gave her $300 you could do whatever you wanted
5. And hopefully cleaned.
Back when I was a long term substitute, I walked into the backstage area of the theater and interrupted two students having s^x on couch we used for the show the previous week.
Turned around and walked out saying “You have two minutes to get dressed and get on stage”.
I didn’t report them to Admin, but I gave them a talk about appropriate time and place. I then had the couch moved into storage.
4. That’s a touchy situation, in more ways than one.
I teach middle school literature and theater. First year of teaching, after a rehearsal when I thought all my students had been picked up, went back to the stage to collect a few things.
Walked in on two 8th graders getting super touchy-feely. Guy had gotten her shirt off and was working on removing her bra.
Not sure who was more embarrassed: me or the kids. Turned my back, told them to get dressed and get to the front doors. Immediately called both families. Both were pretty cool with it, all things considered. Worst part was, about 3 minutes into the conversation with the girl’s father — he realized I’d seen her without a shirt on.
Don’t think I made eye contact with either one of them for the rest of the year.
Edit: Lots of discussion on whether I was right to contact the parents. I feel like that’s fair. In the moment it was a total CYA choice. If I contact them immediately and say “This is what happened and what I saw and what I did” then that’s the story. If I do nothing, and it comes out later, it’s really easy for either of the kids to say “Well he was standing there watching with a big grin on his face!”
Teaching is a profession where even the appearance of impropriety is a fireable offense.
Teachers have lost their jobs for less.
3. There are no words.
I was a science teacher in a boys boarding school. The school was located in a very cold region and so some kids would skip showers. Once I was on duty and I had to go inspect the boys dorms, I noticed a really awful smell coming off one kid, I reported him to his house master so he can get him to shower, long story short at some point it came to light that the kid had developed gangre around his private parts and in his feet. It fell on me as the teacher on duty to take him to the hospital, on further inspection the kid was found to also have bed bugs so I had to be scrubbed down too and shave my hair bald for being close to him and the health inspection office also got involved with the school and the school basically closed for 4weeks PS the school had hot water showers for students but not in the teachers quarters so all the teachers showered with cold water, this kid really had no excuse.
Edit: the kid in this story recovered and the school got more serious with inspections. The local government got involved and constructed addition showers for the students, they bought an diesel generator and water heater too so that went well. Last year the school was voted cleanest in the district and this year it was in the news being praised as a rehabilitated institution.
2. This just makes me sad.
I’m a college student but work as an elementary school aide in a year-round school during my breaks. Last year, one of my little third-grade sweethearts with ASD had a meltdown which lead to him stripping down completely naked and hurting himself by hitting himself and pulling on his p*nis extremely hard. Thankfully, this happened in the intervention room and we were able to move the other students to another section before he started taking clothes off, but it was still really nerve-racking since we knew that if anyone else happened to walk in, it would be really hard to explain why there were four adults trying to catch and restrain a naked 8-year-old.
The episode only lasted about ten minutes, though, and he’s never done anything like that since. Poor baby felt so awful afterwards that he demanded that we call the police since he knew that what he’d done was inappropriate. So, we called the intervention specialist’s best friend (who was on maternity leave) and had her pretend to be a 911 operator so he could “turn himself in,” because every time we told him that wasn’t necessary, he’d call himself bad and the situation would start so escalate again.
After “the police” told him that they’d be by to get the full report from the principal at the end of the day, the lil nug spent the whole day staring out the window, rocking himself back-and-forth in a rocking chair, as if he was contemplating what life was gonna be like in the big house.
At the end of the day, we told him the police wanted us to give him candy as a reward for his day “spent in isolation” and now we let him decide to when he wants to skip music class…..
1. Why would you think anyone else wanted to hear that?
Once I arrived to a classroom just a a 14 year old girl announced to all of her classmates that period blood smelled like rotten fish. I just said it really had nothing to do with French and started my class as usual.
I latter told her that if her really did smell like fish, she should share that with her doctor.
I’m really kind of sorry I read those.
Are you a teacher? Do you have stories? I bet you do – please share with us in the comments!