Have you ever seen a Tweet? They’re sort of like books, but way shorter. Or like, jokes, but sometimes longer.

They’re um…ugh, how to describe it?

They’re blogs that tell you very little about what the person has been up to. They’re poems if poetry rarely rhymed and was generally angrier. They’re how the United States sets national policy now?

Ringing a bell at all?

Oh, nevermind, I’ll just show you. Here are fourteen of the finest examples of tweets that you’ll see today.

14. Chicken skit

This just has layers and layers.

13. Blind passion

It’s the thought that counts, I guess.

12. Time is relative

Just @ me next time, why don’t ya.

11. Train of thought

Fifty ways to say goodbye? There are well over six thousand languages in the world! In this essay I will-”

10. Bloody mess

A new twist on an old classic.

9. Pasta planet

Take me to your leader, the Chef Boyardee.


8. Spreading the clap

I legit used to do this all the time in college, it was hilarious.

7. By the books

Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat? Wouldn’t you say my collection’s out of control?

6. Math doesn’t lie

I don’t need this kind of accurate negativity, thank you.


5. First down

It’s gonna be a real nail-biter, folks.

4. Pass it on

I hope this conversation has actually happened in the wild at some point.

3. Packing problems

I probably shouldn’t leave the pair tree if I’m taking the partridge…


2. The eternal struggle

It’s no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy.

1. Paper or plastic

Sounds an awful lot like something a robot would say.

See, those are tweets. Now that you’ve got a taste for them, maybe go check out more. It’s wild I know, but I think these things might just catch on one day.

What do you tweet about the most?

Tell us in the comments.