“Better than sex” is usually reserved to describe something really, really amazing (because obviously) – so, you might be skeptical that we could round up not only one but fourteen things that you mind find more enjoyable than a roll in the hay.
And maybe you won’t agree with all of them, but I bet at least a few of them will totally blow your skirt up.
Take a look!
14. For just a minute, you feel like a superhero.
Sex is great, but have you ever done that thing where the scissors slide all the way across the wrapping paper?
— Kevin Fallon (@kpfallon) December 23, 2017
13. Wait, are we supposed to hold it in?
Sex is great but have you ever had a really good F*rt after a long haul flight?
— Clementine Ford ?♀️ (@clementine_ford) September 10, 2018
12. There’s no moment of relief like it.
Yeah s^x is great but have you ever lost your phone at an event and then actually had it returned to you
— Stephanie (@Plurprincess_1) September 12, 2018
11. And you don’t even get a followup email blissss.
yeah s^x is great but have u ever had a meeting canceled
— Flexington Ave Local (@Dr_TacoMD) February 28, 2019
10. Still waiting on this one to happen.
yeah …… s^x is great but ……. have u ever been able to spell mcconaughey right on the first try
— hunter harris (@hunteryharris) March 11, 2019
9. All of the room in the backseat, none of the small talk.
sure s^x is great but have you ever caught an uber pool to the airport that didn’t pick up anyone else
— Matt Ford (@JMatthiasFord) October 13, 2017
8. It’s a different kind of happy ending.
yea s^x is great but have you ever been to a chiropractor?
— sarah schauer ? (@SJSchauer) July 25, 2018
7. There is nothing more satisfying.
Sex is great… but have you ever finally removed a popcorn kernel shell from your gums after 10 hours..
— Christian Blacc.. (@50shadesofblacc) February 13, 2019
6. And then had the opposite moment when it brought them back…
Sex is great but have you ever watched the school bus take your kids away from you for the day?
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) May 10, 2018
5. This is one of the best ways to become instant besties.
Sure s^x is great but have you ever discovered that you and someone else hate the same person?
— Phillip Henry (@MajorPhilebrity) April 19, 2019
4. It’s like you can feel your browser heave a sigh of relief.
sure, s^x is great, but have you ever finished a long piece of work and quit a browser that had 35 tabs open
— Hannah Jane Parkinson (@ladyhaja) May 20, 2019
3. You just let loose and pray no one is monitoring that call.
Sure s^x is great but have you ever worked a customer service job and been able to put an abusive customer in their place without being reprimanded?
— dripped out muppet (@sweatpantspapi) January 30, 2019
2. It wasn’t me, it was the universe. Swear.
Yeah s^x is great but have you ever been in a elevator, seen someone running towards it and reached over to the Door Open button but hesitated for a spit second then seen the doors close and convinced yourself it was the universes decision that you should ride alone today.
— Kaya Scodelario (@kScodders) September 17, 2018
1. You get a timely payment, and YOU get a timely payment!
I know s^x is great but have you ever been paid by a client within an hour of sending the invoice?
— Jord Riekwel (@Larkef) January 29, 2019
The best part is, you can even do some of these in public!
Is there something you say is better than sex?
Please share in the comments!