These 14 tweets are perfect, because they take little, mundane things about men and totally use them to destroy the entire gender in less than 280 characters.
Which sounds mean, I suppose, but when the humor is so perfectly crafted, I’m betting that even the males among you aren’t going to be able to help laughing.
14. That’s IF they washed their face.
boys: do u like girls with big bo*b or big b*tt better
the same boys: i wash my face with dish soap
— Natalie (@jbfan911) September 4, 2019
13. You know it.
if you dating a white guy you're single to me. tf Matt gonna do, start a podcast?
— yeet pray love ? (@sarahndipity18) August 30, 2019
12. Cheers to the petty queens everywhere.
found out my mom drove HERSELF to the hospital when she was going into labor bc she was mad at my dad for not giving her enough attention and wanted to birth me by herself bc “men are incapable”… so yes I am the son of a petty queen and, yes, I will carry on her legacy.
— boo (@boopyape) September 6, 2019
11. This is probably a generous average.
men love to date powerful women for 3-8 weeks
— Catherine Cohen (@catcohen) September 1, 2019
10. Imma need you to back tf up.
"hey I saw you on tinder but we didn't match so I found your instagram you're so beautiful you don't need to wear all that makeup ahah I bet you get a lot of creepy dm's but I'm not like all those other guys message me back beautiful btw whats your snap" pic.twitter.com/XDLj2FyqZP
— sloane (sipihkopiyesis) (@cottoncandaddy) April 6, 2018
9. It takes a lot of concentration, okay?
He’s not ignoring you he just recently bought separate shampoo and conditioner and is trying to figure out which one goes in his hair first
— Mat ?️? (@matchu_chutrain) September 11, 2019
8. I’m going to go out on a limb and say no.
Do men grab other men's waists when they are trying to get by or…?
— Bhavatarini (@tesuailak) September 1, 2019
7. This makes me so glad I’m old.
My favorite part of hook up culture is knowing the guy who cried in my bed over his ex girlfriend & held my hand for 4 hours before never speaking to me again still watches my Instagram story every day
— Seasonal But sl*tty 1984’s George wh^rewell (@EwdatsGROSS) January 16, 2019
6. I’m pretty sure this is accurate.
A group of white men is called a subreddit
— Gayby Yoda (@SarahMowrey) April 15, 2018
5.
4. Yet somehow they manage to survive.
every day men leave their homes with no bag, no water bottle, no lip balm, no hand sanitizer, no extra layer in case they get cold, just keys and a wallet shoved into their pocket. chaotic and reckless
— dre (@gothshakira) September 4, 2019
3. Painfully true. This is also why they record it.
white girls just want a wedding so they can hear their totally uncommunicative boyfriends say what they like about them for the first and last time during vows
— ??? ??? ???? (@trashbagsupreme) August 25, 2019
2. 99% of people should say no to both.
The male equivalent of getting bangs is thinking about doing stand up
— Brown Peggy Olson (@ahdiv_me) August 4, 2019
1. Mic drop.
"Did you cum" Yea to the wrong house pass me my crop top im leaving
— Sabiduria? (@CandiceWalton15) May 6, 2018
These were just what I needed today – some people are just so Twitter-funny!
Did these make you LOL Which one was your favorite?
You know what to do… tell us in the comments?