And now, I present for your enjoyment and approval, a short play entitled “Relatable.”
ME: No one understand me. I am a deep and mysterious soul, formed by currents more numerous than anyone knows. I am a mystery wrapped in an enigma, a unique and inscrutable creature unlike all others, who cannot be defined by the molds of the rest of humanity.
ALSO ME: Lol every meme describes me exactly, I’d better tag myself in all of them.
Blackout. Close curtain. It may not be my best work ever but I think it captures the frustratingly joyous spirit of realizing that for as complicated as we are, absolutely no one can escape the infinitely familiar grasp of a highly relatable joke on the internet. In that spirit, here are 13 tweets with a window directly into your soul.
13. Hunger games
Lonely and fabulous.
the one (1) granola bar in my stomach waiting for me to eat an actual meal pic.twitter.com/C01BNle4TU
— ricardoo (@_vricardo) September 10, 2019
12. I’m on a diet
Come on, brain, I told these guys you were cool!
insane to know that there is free serotonin floating around in my brain and my receptors are like hm…none for me thanks
— rachel (@BUGPOSTING) March 2, 2020
11. Cold case
The defense rests…for like, several hours. The defense needs a long nap.
How can lawyers argue without crying or swearing
— Love Sayings (@quotelooove) June 6, 2014
10. Smooth moves
i'm about to cha cha real smooth off a fucking cliff tbh
— bitchcraft ☾✩ (@mermaidbl00d) March 20, 2019
9. Giving up
I am once again coming to talk with you.
"Hello darkness my old friend."
Darkness: I'm not lending you any money.
— summer goth ? (@NicCageMatch) November 22, 2015
8. Round the clock
It’s over before its begun.
Me: *checks clock before starting an activity*
My anxiety: "Well it's 9:14 which might as well be 9:30 and that's basically 10 which is almost 11 and i have to be in bed by 11:30 so I don't have time to start anything"
— NXHLVS (@NXHLVS) January 15, 2020
7. Self-destruct sequence
Initializing in 5…4…3…2…
Fun thing to do at 11pm:
Pick apart your every flaw and insecurity until you convince yourself that you’re unloveable then destroy your relationships because you’re convinced they don’t reciprocate your feelings anyway
— 1984’s George Whorewell (@EwdatsGROSS) March 6, 2020
I don’t remember how to do any math at all, but I remember this.
If I was accidentally weird to you once just know I will be thinking about it every night for the next 50 years
— Hana Michels (@HanaMichels) September 26, 2017
5. Room to grow
Don’t worry about it, I’m not even here.
therapist: so what’s troubling you?
me: my parents taught me to be so polite that now i have trouble taking up any emotional real estate
therapist: and how does that make you feel?
— samreich (@samreich) March 15, 2019
4. Here comes trouble
I’ll take whatever you’ve got.
Therapist: I think you’re just always afraid to be an imposition
Me: Pshhh no I’m not
…2 hours later…
Taco Bell: Gets my order wrong
Me: *Checks in the bag and realizes this*
Me: Looks great! Thank you so much, have a wonderful day!!!!!
— LIVE NOW!! – ?️?EsRivs – #BLM? (@esrivs) November 12, 2019
3. Watch this
You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
friends: why you doing dumb shit?
— seth (@wethsworld) February 2, 2020
I feel like I’m in a bonus stage at this point.
wow adulthood really does hit fast when u spent all of your teenage years thinking u were gonna kill urself eventually
— common sad girl (@sadgirlkms) March 25, 2019
1. You again
The early bird catches these hands.
hello darkness my old friend
why are you here its 4pm
— jonny sun (@jonnysun) November 3, 2019
Now go forth, and send the most relatable of these tweets to the people who you know will freak out over them. In the end, that is the most personal form of communication we have.
Which one is the most you?
Tell us in the comments.