Well, with a title like that… how can you resist?! Because… we put these tweets together JUST for you. You and only you. That’s right. We made this post for just one person.
Which person is it? Well… I mean, we can’t tell you that. But you know who you are. And you’re a special, beautiful soul.
So sit down, pour some tea and get ready Karen… because it’s your god d*mn day… FINALLY!
1. Gotta move to the Netherlands…
Thinking about how the Dutch police arrested a bird for taking part in a robbery, put it in a jail cell with bread and water & when the media reported on it they put a little black bar over the face to protect its identity pic.twitter.com/2ly0zsoAw6
— Emma (@CampbellxEmma) September 29, 2019
2. Unconscious snaps don’t count…
the text messages and snapchats i send at 4:30am are none of my business and please do not talk to me about them the next day
— frankencline (@consensualcline) September 29, 2019
— Innocent Nudes (@InnocentNudes) September 26, 2019
4. Pretty much!
gays and their english teacher pic.twitter.com/hdjZ5hevnG
— alyssa (@yourholygaymom) September 25, 2019
5. Lizzo is so pure
Me doing both Estelle and Kanye’s parts in American boy https://t.co/pikWDJUcLe
— Sadz (@ladyysadie) September 25, 2019
6. Just one of those dayzzzz
guess i need a new job!! :,( pic.twitter.com/iiw9Es0IUc
— holmes holmes (@_holmes_holmes) September 25, 2019
7. Can’t stop, won’t stop… hmmm
literally no one:
bitches who put eyelashes on their headlights: pic.twitter.com/TrDm3aZohU
— adam (@brokeangeI) September 25, 2019
8. Ahhhhhhhh….all better!
When u find out he didn’t ghost you, he just got arrested ?>>>
— leslie? (@leslietellezz) September 24, 2019
9. Frankie… in service to Lizzo… and loving it!
New profile pic of @lizzo and me. Credit to Strawberry_cherub on Instagram. pic.twitter.com/LAsa6U4Vzl
— Frankie Muniz (@frankiemuniz) September 27, 2019
10. Oh… those were the dayzzzz
remember MySpace where we could autoplay music on our page and visibly rank our friends by how much we loved them… what kind of sociopathic sh^t….
— JuanPa (@jpbrammer) September 29, 2019
11. “Thank you for all of your support throughout the week…”
Me telling my friends how I’m about to marry somebody I met 15 minutes ago vs me talking about the same person a week later pic.twitter.com/sXWctFKgD8
— DodgeCaravanBlackThot (@mikethornwell) September 29, 2019
Me to my dog after we realize it was the ice maker that made that noise and not a serial killer https://t.co/HTARCl3Ru9
— Addatude (@addatude_) September 28, 2019
13. Mom crush to the extreme!
STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING reese is learning how to tiktok and thats very important give her some credits pic.twitter.com/1Fj5VEQTKE
— mich (@bigIttIeIies) September 29, 2019
14. We love you just the way you is!
Sister got engaged this weekend and I dressed as a bush in the wilderness to watch/capture the moment. We are 1 yr apart.. why are our lives so different rofl pic.twitter.com/cE14RBZ9CL
— therese merkel (@theresemerkel) September 23, 2019
And just like that… our time is done.
We hope you enjoyed your trip down last week’s tweets. Tune in next time when we’ll have even more tweets for you to read because the internet never stops. It just keeps going and going and going and going and going… and going. O_O
Naw, just kidding. We’re not that morose. Let us know your fave tweets in the comments!