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We’d hate to have you moving into the last couple months of the year without having consumed all of the best and funniest tweets!
So, we’ve got your back – here are 14 tweets that we just couldn’t let you miss.
14. We all know there aren’t any.
PROS OF COFFEE:
-makes life more tolerable
-kills appetite so you can save money
-sometimes I have heart palpitations so I could possibly die before having to repay my student loans
CONS OF COFFEE:
— 1984’s George Whorewell (@EwdatsGROSS) October 7, 2019
13. Is it not hummus?
all I see is hummus https://t.co/0zJnA4oqS2
— Sophia Armen (@SophiaArmen) October 19, 2019
12. She’s got a plan for that.
my child, a mere 6 year old, has proposed we add the month of chillember, an entire month where we just chill. so my question for you ms. warren
— slean cate (@CateSlean) October 27, 2019
11. It’s almost like they’re trying to convince themselves.
married girls on insta: being in love is the HARDEST thing ever but so WORTH IT we fight NONSTOP but we love like CRAZY I fucking HATE my husband but that's just part of being in LOVE true love is DIRTY & HARD but so REWARDING I LOVE doing his LAUNDRY & wiping his ASS
— yeet pray love ? (@sarahndipity18) October 7, 2019
10. This is an accurate summation.
Country music: I’m going to live and die in my hometown 🙂
Pop punk music: I’m going to live and die in my hometown 🙁
— Joey⚡️ (@joeygllghr) October 3, 2019
9. The cattiest cat thing on the caternet.
this is the most cat thing ive ever seen pic.twitter.com/EXrVuNfhog
— ?????? – ???? ???? 🙁 (@disharryland) October 16, 2019
8. This is an accurate depiction of me, as well.
me giving directions to strangers ? pic.twitter.com/eR6tmfYq31
— ???.?️ (@eliterenno) October 4, 2019
7. I’m betting she’s not nearly as cute.
my homophobic aunt staring at me across the table at Thanksgiving pic.twitter.com/1MTnhNXbrJ
— ? chris (@_chriswolfe) October 18, 2019
6. This is just too perfect.
when your girls mad at you but you ask her if she wants to go get something to eat pic.twitter.com/ry3yF1raH9
— ً (@Iowkeymood) October 21, 2019
5. We heard there were cats.
Me and the three other people who don’t want to be at the party on our way to locate the rumoured obese cat in the bedroom pic.twitter.com/SYUae9VLqg
— Mindy Furano (@MindyFurano) October 9, 2019
4. I could argue but what would be the point?
my girlfriend just added uncooked pasta to cold water and then turned on the stove and when i said that she should boil the water before adding pasta she said “literally all men are the same”
— ☆drive45☆ (@drive45music) October 14, 2019
3. I just snorted.
so you’re telling me a boot cut these jeans
— Chase (@chaseIyons) October 20, 2019
2. Well when you put it that way.
i am 25 and completely burnt out. what am I suppose to do for 50 MORE years? maintain a yard? bitch about traffic? keep buying spinach and watching it die? get oil changes? fucksake
— ditch pony (@molly7anne) October 25, 2019
1. I’m pretty sure that’s right, yes.
How They expect you to React When You get an Amber Alert ??? pic.twitter.com/HO0AGTHB2k
— Mark Phillips (@SupremeDreams_1) October 2, 2019
I’m sure glad I read through these – every morning is better with a laugh!
Did you have a favorite tweet last month?
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