Hey do you have a few minutes? Hopefully you do, because you clicked on this link. Now that you’re here, I just want to show these funny tweets real quick. I promise you won’t get in trouble. Your boss/family/kids/cat will understand. Come on, it’ll be fun!
Sneak these tweets into your day to make it just a little bit better.
14. Cushion cuisine
It’s lazy AND meticulous!
My fiancé just asked me to come into the kitchen to see what they made.
“It’s a couch potato.” pic.twitter.com/NA2IiDznl3
— Michael Barros (@BarrosMichael21) May 15, 2020
13. Doggo wisdom
Frens, lend me your ears.
surround yourself. with those who would flip your ear back for you. if it ever went inside out
— Thoughts of Dog® (@dog_feelings) May 17, 2020
12. Those eyes
I don’t think this coffee is fair trade…
You just ordered a depresso https://t.co/TioEwX1SQf
— amir pls (@AmirRozali) February 9, 2020
11. A dandy boy
When he’s riding and he’s happy, his tail does wagon waggin’.
This is Dory. He got tired walking up the hill but that’s okay because he brought his wagon. Then he ate a dandelion. 14/10 overall a lovely evening #SeniorPupSaturday pic.twitter.com/hy8dkl3fNN
— WeRateDogs® (@dog_rates) April 18, 2020
10. Night spirits
This bottled water scared me to death last night pic.twitter.com/zHKyV3zxh9
— FAROUQ (@farouq_yahaya) April 24, 2020
9. Nacho cooking
But honestly it looks delicious tho.
Tonight on Chopped: a corn tortilla crisp with a reduced tomato purée and a creamy cheese ganache pic.twitter.com/3waokFm09Y
— 6’4 Hugh Jassdicc (@ETlHAN) July 22, 2019
8. Unforeseen circumstances
Let’s be real, this probably happens all the time.
Bro….I told a blind customer “come back and see us” by accident…and he said “ok I’ll try my best” pic.twitter.com/SpsZjVyGSb
— June 6th ? (@__BigO__) August 7, 2019
7. The bald savoir
Where are you, Clean? We need you back for one last job.
But when the world needed him most… he vanished. https://t.co/bw8kKxZ8RY
— ? (@Goose_Haley) March 12, 2020
6. Sleep schedule
Just 5 more minutes, except forever.
If I had a time machine I'd probably just keep going back to bed
— taybraham lincoln (@gothdadsclub) September 24, 2014
5. Bullet time
Well, he’s not wrong.
Three bullets colliding, checkmate.
— adum (@starkStarbuck) May 7, 2020
4. Road rage
If Mario Kart has taught me anything, the yellow light is when you ABSOLUTELY FLOOR THE GAS.
Life goal: to have as much free time on my hands as people who come to a complete stop at yellow lights.
— Not Too Pretty (@nottoopretty_) September 2, 2018
3. Murder most friendly
Gonna chill out to some homicide.
Gonna let the Forensic Files narrator soothe me to sleep with murder stories now.
— STEVE HUFF (@SteveHuff) February 25, 2018
2. Need for greed
This is a level of petty I didn’t even realize until just now that I already possess.
Whenever people tailgate me when I’m going 40 in a 35 I always purposely slow down because it’s like I gave you an extra 5 and you didn’t appreciate it so now you get nothing
— Mon (@monschleichs) July 27, 2018
1. Simulation theory
If I just picture every possible thing that could happen and play it out, I’ll be ready for anything.
Me creating imaginary scenarios and arguments before anyone has even said anything to me pic.twitter.com/KSVAdoLlIu
— Turgut (@ItsSlyGuy) September 4, 2019
Thanks for taking the time to enjoy these tweets with me! If you gotta get back to whatever you were workin’ on, I understand. Visit again soon for more!
Who’s your favorite person on Twitter right now?
Tell us in the comments.