When it comes to the dating scene, it can be difficult to walk the line between having good standards and not being overly picky or critical. We’re all human, after all. A flawless partner doesn’t exist so you’ll be looking a long time if you set the bar that high.

On the other hand, there’s a lot of extremely common human behavior that sort of slips by largely unnoticed, even when it SHOULD raise some red flags.

The people of Reddit got real honest about that stuff in a thread on r/AskReddit that began with the following prompt:

What “all too common” trait do you find extremely unattractive in the opposite (or same) sex?
byu/Pnd1528 inAskReddit

An incredible 20,000+ comments poured in. Here are some that floated to the top. We can’t help but notice that a TON of them revolve around one central theme: pride.

1. We’re not all rock stars.

People being obsessed with their social media presence.

– theragamuffinman

2. Self esteem good, massive ego bad.

Inflated egos. Entitlement. Incapability of being humble and make fun of yourself.

– Cybergor

3. What you consider “joking around” might really be a power trip.

The whole “let me push all your buttons, you’re wrong, I’m right, I do it because I think it’s funny to rile you up” schtick. Then repeat it immediately.

– jackssweetheart

4. Art. Is. Subjective.

When they think that their taste in music makes them a superior person instead of just having different tastes.

– existanthominid

5. If you can’t care for others, how can you care for me?

Lack of compassion.

They only seem to care about themselves.

– 5yn3rgy

6. “If you can’t handle me at my worst…” I’m gonna stop ya right there.

The “I’m an asshole and I don’t care if people call me an asshole” attitude.

– emmaj95

7. What kind of connection do we really have?

People who do things for ‘clout’ and don’t actually care for being genuine until they need something from you.

– dennaleia

8. You need a slightly thick skin.

Anyone who takes any advice, disagreement, constructive criticism as a personal attack.

– pdxblazer

9. Oh look, abuse.

shouting at their partners in public.

– mercenarydempsey

10. Don’t tear me down to build yourself up.

shit talking others to make themselves look better

– DisastrousCerberus

11. This isn’t Victorian England.

playing hard to get.

if you like me just fuckin tell me, stop beating around the bush.

– aboba_3

12. Personal responsibility is vital.

The gaslighting. On any level.

So, I’m to blame for your behavior? I’m to blame because you couldn’t possibly be wrong or held accountable for your decisions?

Yeah… no.

– IronCorvus

13. Clean up!

Messiness and having poor hygiene.

– bossassbiyatch

14. Work/life balance is serious business.

Everyone says they want their partner to be super career ambitious.

Screw that, I say put in your 40 hours then chill.

I want someone who knows how to relax.

– 24520ls

15. Remember, we’ve just got the one planet.


You’d be surprised how many people don’t give a fuck and throw shit out their car window.

It’s disgusting.

– Ket_om

Perfection might not be achievable, but staying away from this nonsense certainly seems doable, and like it’s a damn good idea.

What would you add to this list?

Tell us in the comments.