It’s often said that we men are simple creatures, which I take some exception to. I can be very complex.
For instance, this morning I put cereal in my bowl, then milk, THEN more cereal.
I break new ground all the time, as all men do. And we need our ways to be understood. Luckily, we were afforded a venue for such proclamations via r/AskReddit where someone asked:
Men of Reddit, what is the hardest thing to explain to a woman?
Behold these truths of manhood. Study them well, and take them to heart.
1. The stick of truth.
If I’m on a hike and see a good looking stick I must pick it up
2. The blank stare conundrum.
If im in a group. and am staring at you intently. i probably just spaced out and my eyes defaulted to your position fsr.
3. The…other stick of truth.
The mystery of how a d*ck works and feels.
4. The twist and shout method.
It’s called scratching your balls but its much more of a pinch and twist motion.
5. The code of silence.
Why I don’t know what the fuck my best friend is up to in life even after hanging out with him all day.
6. The twitch stream.
How you can actually twitch your penis.
All of my lady aquantences are interested to learn that we have the ability to do so.
7. Post nut clarity.
Post nut clarity is real and it ruins lives
Edit: the clairty afterwards doesn’t ruin lives, it’s the fog beforehand that ruins lives, because after nutting you realize how badly you’ve messed up.
8. The danger attraction.
That we enjoy doing stupid sh*t like cooking with a chainsaw and cook using the after burners of a f18 or using friends as ratchet straps
9. Demands and negotiation.
Compromise is a two-way street.
If you want those pink pastel bedsheets and pink pastel walls, I’m getting the Star Wars lamp.
10. The quiet mind.
I can literally be sitting there and think about nothing. When she asks what I am thinking about, i say nothing. But she doesnt believe me. In a guy’s brain there is a “nothing” box.
11. The eternal question.
“So what do you want to eat?”
The double stream
13. The nose-goes principle.
No. I don’t want to see what that noise was. I’m as nervous as you are.
14. The poor aim problem.
Sure I can aim, but it doesnt mean its going to go that way, Stop thinking its super easy, its not, and god help me if I f*cking SNEEZE!
15. The two great mysteries.
a) That we too have feelings and need companionship or
b) Why I have a boner at her grandma’s funeral
Now you are closer to understanding the mindset of man. And we are tired from the effort. Lo, we must nap, and play some more Zelda.
What would YOUR answer to this question be?
Tell us in the comments.