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You wanna hear some jokes? Yes. You do. You definitely wanna hear some jokes right now. In fact you probably don’t want to hear anything else. You don’t even want to hear what I have to say in this intro. And yet you’re still reading it.

Why? You could skip ahead at any time. Nobody’s stopping you. But still you linger.

Is it because I’ve drawn attention to it now? Are you trying to prove something?

You got nothing to prove to me, man, I’m writing this in the past and I can’t even see you. But maybe you think it will pay off if you keep reading. Maybe you now believe you’ll find something unexpected at the end of this screed that will have made it all worth it. And guess what? You were wrong.

Anyway, here’s 15 great jokes that funny people on Twitter wrote recently. Enjoy ’em.

15. Out of this world

There’s a starmaaaaan waiting in the sky…

14. I do wanna

Memes will save us.

13. Cannibal romance

Press F to pay respects.

12. Spice up your life

If you wanna be MY lover, you gotta take this down immediately.

11. Equal rights

This is a strong if controversial stance and I can respect that.

10. Older by the dozen

I didn’t ask for this but apparently I wanted it.

9. White collar crime

Dude’s going away for grand theft pebble.

8. Live a little

U do you.

7. Prophetic jams

“…and then disinfect it.”

6. Slay, king

I think your frog might be sick, Carl.

5. What a waist

Are you telling me I lost money, gained carbs, and it wasn’t even tasty??

4. Love is dead

Things started to fall apart when Barbie tweeted she hated “fake” guys.

3. It Musk be love

I barely understand what this means and yet it seems true.

2. Call and response

This is how we’ll test for robots living among us in the future.

1. No score

Well I mean, their TEAM lost it.

I hope those very great quite good twitter Tweets lifted your spirit a bit. Thanks for visiting with us today. And thanks for reading all these words I wrote. Are you still reading them? I mean, the good stuff is over, so I’d understand if you just wanted to go now. …oh, you’re still here? Great! Um…no, I’m out of things to say, we should end this.

Who are the best people on Twitter right now in your opinion?

Tell us in the comments.


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