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Everybody ready? Because it’s time to do the creep. We hear lots of stories about men being creeps toward women, which is obviously a huge problem. Nevertheless, just about every man I know also has some “creep” stories about women they’ve encountered. For a vast collection of them, look no further than the r/AskReddit thread that kicked off with this prompt:
Nearly 4 thousand comments later, we’ve got no shortage of cringe fodder. Here are just a few of the strangest ones, with our suggestions of titles should they ever be published as short stories.
1. Dopplegang Her
Once, an acquaintance added me on fb.
When I clicked on her profile, it said she was in a relationship with someone.
That someone was a fake account of me with my picture.
2. A Shot in the Dark
I started going to a new doctor, the receptionist was cute, so I flirted a bit.
In a waiting room, with other patients around. It was pretty innocent, she reciprocated, I figured it was all in good fun. She escalated a bit, stuff like scheduling me for days she was there, calling me directly with reminders, etc.
Then she went into the records, got my cell number, and started texting me. Telling me she wants to meet up, she’s not happy with her husband, they never have sex any more, etc.
I noped out as fast as I could.
3. Son Down
I was in new orleans watching some street performers go crazy and a mom came up behind me and fully grabbed both of my ass cheeks.
I was 18 and standing next to both of my parents and she said “hey you remind me of my son” which is probably one of the weirdest things to say in that moment
4. Slumber Partly
she befriended my younger sister just to get her to ask her to a sleepover.
I woke up in the middle of the night with her laying in bed with me.
I was 17 y/o
she was 13.
– [user deleted]
5. A Girl’s Best Friend
Not a guy myself, but one I dated had a couple fun stories.
One was a girl he got set up with by friends on a blind date. As they went out to dinner, they passed a jewelry store, and she insisted on going in so they could “pick out rings for when they get engaged.”
He paid for dinner and noped right out.
6. What We Don’t Do in the Shadows
When I was 22, I was hanging out with a couple friends just grilling and drinking when one of them was suddenly like “do you guys wanna go to a costume party?”
The entire night, there’s this one girl who’s sitting next to me on the couch but she hasn’t said a single word. Not one. I don’t think much of it, some people are shy, it’s whatever.
But then, during a lull in the party, out of nowhere, she gets closer to me, looks me dead in the eye, and whispers “I like blooooood.” Then shifts back to her spot like nothing happened.
I turned to my friend and was just like “we have to leave.”
I still think about that night sometimes.
7. Three’s Company
I was nice to a freshman girl when I was a senior.
She told me that her two boyfriends did not satisfy her sexually, and implied that perhaps I could.
It was a little creepy.
8. Dangerous Games
I was living in New Orleans and this older woman grabbed my nuts from behind. I naturally freaked out, and she laughed and went “oh it’s this game we’re playing” – wtf kind of game is that?
I was so shocked I kinda just walked away.
9. Mood Swing
We were kids, early teens. I thought she was mad cute. She was telling me how once she pushed a boy she liked off the swings and he broke his arm.
She was bragging about it. And she liked me now..
“Cool”, I thought. “I will now proceed to never see you again”.
I had a friend who went absolutely crazy after her boyfriend broke up with her. Cutting, trying to force him to get back together, getting him kicked out of the group to isolate him only for it to back fire and throw a fit. Etc.
And that was only freshman year.
When he started dating another girl from our group senior year she pretended to be cool…only to lie to the girl and try and convince her to break up with him because he was “definitely” texting her last night! Oh and also ge told her he hated her, and that she was ugly, and that he actually loved her (crazy girl) and was only with the new girl to make her jealous.
11. The Litter Lover
At my buddies cottage in muskoka one summer, he knew this girl that had a cottage there as well. We all were around the ages of 14-17.
This one girl was talking about how she liked to pee in cat litter and then form the cat litter into dildo shape and freeze it.
Was at a bar with a large group of friends when this girl who was not affiliated with our group came up to me and started unbuttoning my shirt.
After a few buttons, she just slid her hands around my torso. I backed off and the girls in our friend group blocked her from coming into contact with me again.
13. The Pig
Girl was hitting on me at a bar. I was pretty dismissive and finally she said “oh I’ll let you buy me a drink”.
I responded saying I was married and please leave me alone. She called me a pig and stormed off and later in the night we caught her following us to another club.
Threatened to call the police on her and she stopped.
14. The Pits
I went out with some friends to watch a game at a bar. Once leaving to head back home as we are all walking out this group of girls clearly hammered at like 11 in the morning walks in and beelines towards our group.
One runs out and says you should come with me and jams her fingers straight up and into my armpit. It was pretty warm out so I was sweaty, and this girl takes her hand out after I move her arm away from me and then sniffs her fingers and winks at me.
According to my friends, I have never had a more puzzled look on my face.
15. The Aristocats
I knew a girl who seemed kind of off but was into one of my buddies so I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Then for some reason I went and visited her apartment and was chatting with my buddy as I listened to her in the other room for ten minutes meow like a cat at her computer screen.
That… Changed me some.
Hope you didn’t read any of that as you were trying to fall asleep.
What’s your story?
Share it with us in the comments.