Fact: kids do dumb stuff. Actually, they do A LOT of dumb stuff, if we’re being completely honest, right?
If you’ve spent a lot of time around children, then you know the drill.
AskReddit users shared the times when they asked themselves, “Why is my kid so stupid?”
1. Don’t do that!
“Me waking into the bathroom to check on my 4 year old son having a bath:
“Why are you smashing your p*nis with that (toy) hammer?”
2. The squirrel did it.
“My 12 year old daughter blamed a squirrel when we asked how the Borax for her slime projects moved from the garage to the kitchen counter.
It’s so fulfilling to go from “I’m pretty sure you’re lying”, to “100% I know you’re lying”.”
3. Not a smooth move.
“My older brother carved my name into the side of my mums car with a rock for whatever reason and tried to blame it on me I was like 4 years old and couldn’t write yet.”
4. That’s why I’m cold.
“My daughter insists wearing a jacket will make her cold because she only wears it when she is cold.”
5. Singled out the giraffes.
“My toddler watched at least an hour of an animated movie populated entirely by talking animals.
Suddenly, a giraffe came onscreen and said something.
My kid stood up, pointed at the TV, and angrily yelled, “What?! Giraffes can’t talk!”
6. Aim high!
“Our daughter.
When asked what she wanted to be when she grows up answered: “I want to be a strawberry, but if that’s too hard I want to be purple”…
The color purple. The fruit strawberry.
She was five.”
7. Ruined the microwave.
“My son has microwaved ramen noodles with no water A FEW TIMES.
Just so you know, they are flammable and smoke horribly and turn your microwave an awful yellow color.”
8. Great job!
“Hey mommy, wanna see a trick?”
“Sure honey, show me a trick.”
Kid runs around in circles to build up momentum, very deliberately crashes head first into the wall then falls down and starts crying.
“…good trick, sweetie.”
9. Did you do this?
“My son, at age 10…
I was trying to figure out why my shower was draining so slowly and wound up pulling the drain strainer out. Inside I found a bunch of brown paper goop. It took me a while to figure out what it was. I went to my son and asked him:
“Did you tear up a toilet paper tube into little pieces and cram those pieces down the drain in the shower?”
“Yes.”
“Ok. (*brain fries*) How about not?”
“Sure.”
10. Makes perfect sense.
“When I caught him peeing in the doorway of his room at the age of 5.
His reason? ” Cause I don’t want the kitty coming into my room.”
11. Smooth move.
“My 4 yo son just the other day spilled his water bottle on the floor. I told him to get paper towels to wipe it up.
He does.
Then I told him to throw the towels in the trash. He wrings them back out onto the floor before he throws them in the trash.”
12. That exotic foreign land…
“When my sister was 18 she was planning a trip to California after HS graduation. She spent several days calling banks to get the exchange rate for money because somehow she was absolutely convinced that regular US currency in Pennsylvania was not usable in California.
She thought the banks were all lying to her that it was the same money.
I am surprised she even FOUND California! “
13. Ouch!
“If I can be the kid who made my parents ask this question: I walked into a wall when I was five because I was walking around looking through binoculars backwards.
Got these two massive ring bruises around my eyes.”
14. Car sniffin’.
“When I heard my wife say to my then three-year-old son, “[Name], please stop sniffing all the cars.”
We were walking through a parking lot.”
15. Thanks a lot…
“Lose debit card.
Go through painful renewal process.
Finally arrives in the mail. Kid asks can I see it?
He takes it and bends it in half.”
Ugh… kids are the gift that keeps on giving, right? Both in the bad and good ways.
What are some of your favorite memories with kids? Let us know in the comments!