Romantic gestures, big and small, get all of the glory when it comes to movies and novels, but in real life? Often, it’s the unassuming, everyday things that tell us the relationship we’re in is built to last.

I think it’s because in reality, there’s no happy ending. There’s no ending at all, and the longer two people stay in each other’s lives, the better we get to know each other – the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything else, too.

These 15 people recall the moment they realized their love was real – even as they were sometimes literally making each other vomit.

15. That is true love right there.

My boyfriend texted me one day when he was at the gym that he believed his rectum had prolapsed. No idea how, but I started googling what we needed to do about it. I read that if it wasn’t serious, you could just push it back in before going to a doctor, instead of heading to the ER.

So what do I do? Put on a pair of gloves, lube my finger up, and kneel in front of him while he’s lying on the bed attempting to push part of his rectum back into his anus.

Turns out it was just a giant f*cking hemhorroid when he went to the doctors the next day. But I think that was a moment in our relationship where it was established that we both had complete comfort with each other. If your partner can try and shove part of your rectum up into your ass then nothing is really too disgusting or gross to discuss.

14. How sweet that you each have a separate moment (hers is sooooo much worse).

My husband got diarrhea so bad that it went everywhere in our bathroom, and I accidentally sat in it.

I cleaned everything off, and jumped in the shower to clean his p*op off while he was still going. I started puking in the shower from the awful seafood food poisoning smells.

He says his time for me is us waiting in a drive thru line and I sneezed a giant snot rocket all over my shirt and fre*ked out trying to hide it and find a tissue.

13. Living the dream right there.

My husband and I often end up showering together, and one night as he was about to get in he said “Never mind. I’ll clean up and get some food ready for you and let you shave your as$hole in peace”

12. I mean, what if you didn’t have him?

I fell down some steps and broke both my arms. My husband wiped my b*tt and helped me shower/wash my hair… for weeks.

For better or worse, that was definitely filed under worse.

11. You have to know what works for you both.

My wife and I came to understand that we can sleep apart for the sake of comfort and good rest, without it being an expression of emotional distance.

10. When push comes to shove, they’re on your side.

When we’d been married about 10 years, two little kids, jobs not paying enough to cover daycare and bills, and were having the sort of fight that these stresses can precipitate. It was a nasty one, we were not holding back with unkind things said to each other…

And then the phone rang. My dad was in the hospital 1200 miles away. He’d had a stroke, docs were unsure whether he’d live.

The fight stopped and she told me to get in the car and go to the airport, she’d have tickets waiting for me at the counter. She’d call my boss and explain that I was flying across the country. Take how much time I needed, she would take care of the house and the kids and to not worry about anything but taking care of my family.

Dad made it a few years after that, but now I know that no matter how hard life gets, and however much two volatile pig-headed jerks fight and yell, she isn’t just on my team, she IS my team. We’ll be married 30 years this year. Life happens, and sometimes people aren’t perfect, but when the world is against me, that little woman will grab my arm and we’ll roar together, and nothing will break us.

9. Every girl deserves a father like this.

I have a now 12-year-old daughter who is not biologically his, however she calls him Dad now and he always refers to her as his daughter. When she was about 10 he’d been moved in about 6 months we were settling in to things as a family. I was working and they were home hanging out and she got her first period. I had briefly had a couple small discussions enough that she knew what was happening. But was pretty unsure what to do.

So he handed her some toilet paper, told her the basic girl trick of putting it in her underwear and took her to the store. He helped her pick out some pads, detoured to the ice cream, chocolate, chips and bakery section and picked up junior Advil just in case. They settled in on the sofa he explained the basics of how to use it. Showed her a quick YouTube video. Made up a hot water bottle for her, popped her dirty clothes on to soak. And they snuggled and she talked about it and they googled answers if he didn’t have them.

I came home to them having a nap on the sofa looking like a slumber party exploded and a happy child. Probably one of the moments I’ve love him the most.

8. It’s the not-talking when you really hear stuff sometimes.

Man all of these are like medical conditions and crazy stuff like that.. One time my girlfriend just said she wanted to see me but didn’t wanna talk to anybody after a rough day at work.

So she came to my house and sat in my bed with me while I played video games until we both fell asleep.

Didn’t say a word other than “hey” when she got there, and “Alright, bed. Love you.”

7. One of those moments you have to realize they meant it kindly.

My husband’s family lived across the country and used to send us boxes of their almost new, good quality clothes that they no longer wore. The men clothes were great for hubby and sons, but the female clothes were always a bit too small as I had gained a lot of weight since they had seen me last. My husband always felt so bad for me.

Then one time, my hubby lifted up a pair of pants out of the box and said happily, “These will fit you. They’re HUGE!”

I still remember the look of horror that passed over his face once he’d realized what he’d said. But I loved the fact that he was happy for me getting a new pair of pants.

6. The smallest moments can be the most profound.

I grew up with my grandparents bc both my parents had to work various jobs simultaneously, so my grandfather was my world. I took care of him during his last 5 years, when he became bedriden. I tried to visit him as often as I could. He lived with an elderly aunt who fed him, but needed me to bathe him and, eventually, change his diapers and so on. Early in our relationship, my now wife would come over sometimes. One time I got to his house and found his fridge full and him watching Tv, eating a bowl of ice cream. My wife had gone a few hours before me without telling me. 6 months later I proposed.

5. Oh my goodness my heart.

My first child was a still born…holding my wife while we both bawled our eyes out as she vomited on me and bled all over the bathroom floor.

It’s a memory that will stick with me forever.

4. Having someone not just say they care, but actually care for you is huge.

My boyfriend made me go to the gynecologist to talk about getting an ablation after watching me struggle from crippling pain and bleeding every month for years. He said not to worry about money or anything else besides solving my problem.

Fast forward two months and I got a call from my surgeon. Apparently I missed the fact that they did a biopsy when they removed my polyps and found uterine cancer. Had I been stubborn and continued to ignore my miserable periods for years, who knows what could have happened to me.

No one expects uterine cancer in someone under 30. He held me while I cried, took me to every appointment, and helped me when I recovered after my hysterectomy.

That dude is my rock.

3. An advocate is worth a million dollars.

He was an amazing dad when I had post-partum anxiety and depression. And he’d never been around babies before or even had siblings. He was just a natural. He never resented me and just took care of us.

When prozac made it wayyyy worse, my sh^tty doctor wouldn’t return my calls. He got us all dressed and we went and sat in that doctor’s office until he would see us. He was my biggest advocate. It was so hard on me to see him bonding with our baby and being a kick ass dad while I couldn’t muster any feelings for the baby and just wanted to disappear.

But all is good now and I am still so happy that our daughter has such an awesome dad.

2. We’d do anything for the people we love the most.

The last few years before my mother passed away, she had horrible diarrhea & had lost most of her mobility. So it was not uncommon for her to be unable to make it out of the bed, much less to the bathroom.

Every time this would happen, my old man would get up, get her to the bathroom & cleaned up, then go back into the bedroom, pull the sheets off their bed, put them in the wash, and finish off with putting fresh clean sheets down.

Oh, and he wasn’t in much better health himself. But he never complained.

1. That’s some serious bonding right there.

We were actually on a romantic getaway weekend in the mountains. I was still breastfeeding at the time.

Right as we were getting ready for dinner I had to break it to him that I had a plugged duct and it was threatening to ruin our whole night, if not the whole weekend. I was very uncomfortable and I was worried about getting mastitis. My man went to town on that bo*b and sucked the plug out. I can’t describe how awkward it is to breastfeed your own husband.

But he had absolutely no qualms about helping me out.

As a married woman, I can attest to these moments. So, kids, find someone who is going to love you no matter what you look (or smell) like, because life gets pretty darn messy.

Please, if you’ve got a similar memory, share it with us in the comments!