People have burned down acres of land, watched an airplane crash, and literally died, all in the name of finding out whether a friend or family member’s baby will be a boy or a girl.
It’s crazy to think that, just a few decades ago, people had no idea what it was going to be until it came out – and even then, it was a fun surprise to look forward to, but not something to announce to literally anyone who is looking.
These 15 people definitely think there are better ways to spend our time and money…but the parties are decent fodder for jokes, anyway.
15. Time to up your life insurance.
FRIEND: You're invited to my baby's gender reveal party!
ME: [remembering the gender reveal forest fire, the gender reveal plane crash & the gender reveal explosions] Is that a threat?
— Roxi Horror ?? (@roxiqt) November 9, 2019
14. It’s important that Dads be left alone to make the same repeated joke.
Once a week, my Dad calls me and asks when I’m having my gender reveal party and then laughs and hangs up.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) July 16, 2019
13. Treat it like a bachelorette party and there had better be booze.
If you're gonna do a gender reveal party, don't play coy with colored smoke or whatever. When you blow up that cake, I expect to see a giant sign saying "IT'S A p*nis!" Showers of d%cks raining down like confetti. You invited us here to celebrate genitals, Karen. You wanted this.
— James L. Sutter (@jameslsutter) November 9, 2019
12. On today’s episode of “Yes, Words Matter…”
Helpful hint: Before telling someone you're going to a "Baby s^x Party," consider using the phrase "Gender Reveal Party" instead.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) September 25, 2014
11. Kids get everything without trying.
I showed my daughters a "gender" reveal where a family used pink balloons to announce they were having a girl. What is interesting is that my kids didn't get it because boys like pink too.
"Why not just eat cake and say we're having a kid?"
— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) December 22, 2017
10. We’re definitely just there for the food.
[lips on mic] no one cares about your gender reveal cupcakes ok we care about the cupcakes just not the reveal
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) May 22, 2017
9. Are you really sorry, though?
Sorry I crashed your gender reveal party with a bunch of gray balloons and a sign that says "No one cares about your baby's genitals!"
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) October 9, 2017
8. Memories that will last a lifetime, to be sure.
aaah yes the classic jello watermelon alligator snap gender reveal, who could ever get enough of these precious moments https://t.co/j1GbCuOEg3
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 28, 2018
7. You don’t hear the word ‘shindig’ enough if you ask me.
Save all that gender reveal party money and energy and just use it for a real shindig when your kid comes out of the closet.
— Sam Sanders (@samsanders) November 10, 2019
6. Because that would be something interesting to see.
Is your baby coming from an egg like one of Daenerys Targaryen's dragons? No? Then brb, gonna set your gender reveal party invite on fire.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) August 17, 2016
5. And delicious party food, you’re welcome.
[Gender reveal party]
Woman: We cut into the cake and it's not blue or pink it's just filled with pizza
Me: you're having an Italian
— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) July 30, 2017
4. Imagine that!
We smash open the piñata at the gender reveal party and dozens of moray eels flop out onto the ground. The guests howl. BECAUSE MORAY EELS CAN CHANGE THEIR GENDER, I explain
— Pigeon Fancier (@isabelzawtun) October 2, 2018
3. If it quacks…
What is the point of gender reveal parties
Does it ever end with someone saying, "I'm shocked, I really thought it was going to be a duck."
— Scaachi (@Scaachi) November 20, 2014
2. If it’s not too much to ask…
I'm hopeful that the end of likes on Instagram will end this dumb ass gender reveal bullsh^t.??????
— Busy Philipps (@BusyPhilipps) November 9, 2019
1. These people did not mean to get famous this way.
when you sad but you actually accidentally invented the only gender reveal moment worth doing pic.twitter.com/Z0PgBkqeHq
— Bec Shaw (@Brocklesnitch) November 11, 2016
I’ll take the ultrasounds for diagnostic purposes but it would be awesome if doctors would just put a stop to all of this nonsense by refusing to hand over the gender before birth.
If you can read an ultrasound, you can find out. Otherwise – wait until the day to unwrap your present, Kaitlyn!