Everyone has at least one breakup story in their pocket. Unless you’re one of those weirdos who married your first sweetheart and lived happily ever after. Freaks.
But for the rest of us, the stories runneth over…
Reddit has got some tales of nope-ish woe. But be warned, some contain a lot of unpleasantness. Obviously.
1. The jealous lover
He had already shown very jealous tendencies and had smacked me over the head because he thought I was looking at a guy so it wasn’t good already.
We were outside of his friends house and his friend asked how I was doing and he got mad at me for answering. I just got in my car and drove away.
2. A family affair
I received a message that clearly wasn’t meant for me. We just had our first date which went really well.
Calling me cheap and a slimeball and how I’m on my last last chance to make things right on her coming birthday with lots of presents.
I replied “hi this is X, we just met and had one date, was that message for someone else?
She replied pretending to be her 12 year old sister. Then apparently her dad messaged me with how he’s told off his younger daughter.
I’m out, f**k that shit ?
3. The cheater
One day he casually told me he has a wife and 2 daughters but was unhappy and his wife never suspects anything.
Stalked me for 2 months to change my mind.
4. The manipulator
I told her I was going to leave her, and she said “so you’re going to leave me—just like you left your brother?”
My twin brother committed suicide in 2017, and she knew how much guilt I had over not being there for him. Such a manipulative, disgusting thing for any person to say. Especially someone who claims to “love” you.
I moved out two days later.
5. Cheating on duty
I came home from temporary duty a day early to surprise her and found the neighbor in bed with her.
We were married for 6 weeks at that point.
6. The doppelganger hunter
She picked me because I had the same first name, general appearance, and lived in the same area of the state as her ex fiance, of two years, that she had just been dumped by a month before we met.
I felt even more offended about all of that than just being straight up rejected.
7. The tuna incident
We had been together for quite a while (6-8 months) and lived together for at least 2 months when I decided to make tuna salad.
I asked how he liked it. He told me. I came back with two bowls, half the can made his way, and half the can made the way I liked it.
He completely freaked out.
He said “if we can’t agree on how to eat tuna, how will this ever work?!”. I said that we don’t have to agree – we can both have it exactly the way we want and be happy. He vehemently disagreed.
I started thinking of all of his other controlling behavior and inability to compromise. It wasn’t that day that we broke up, but it was definitely the day our relationship broke. The cheating didn’t help either.
8. The vile vitriol
It was already on the rocks from roughly around the time the millionth drunken argument happened, however the moment that sealed it was when she said something to me along the lines of “if your dad wanted to be alive he would still be here”
My dad died in a car accident 3 years before that. Immediately went from loving her enough to make it work to thinking she was the most vile person on Earth.
9. The Sushi opportunist
My brother took a girl to a high end sushi place and his date ordered 3x the food as he did (he just got a grilled salmon). She ate almost none of it and at the end she said she ordered all the extras so she could “take some home for tomorrow”.
When the waiter showed up for the bill she excused herself to go to the bathroom. The waiter asked my brother if he wanted to split the check and at that point my brother did the right thing and stuck her with $100 worth of sushi and booze.
The girl returned to see a huge check at her seat.
10. The control freak
I was going through some stuff in my early twenties and was pretty desperate for any kind of affection, which is the only reason I took a couple weeks to back out of this…
The second time I ever met her, she told me to delete every girl’s number from my phone (sister included). She then came over to my place, saw I had a full bookshelf and ridiculed me for being a reader, and in the same breath announced that she loved cocaine so much and wanted me to try it.
Finally, I escaped, but by then she was already sleeping with two of my friends (who are obviously no longer my friends).
The good news is, I’ve now been happily married for five years and consider myself so incredibly lucky.
11. The loophole
She told me that if she hooked up with a girl it wouldn’t be cheating because she always had wanted to do it.
I already learned this lesson in the past.
If someone tells you they are going to do something you should believe them.
12. Extreme jealousy
“You don’t understand how jealous I can get,” she said, tearfully upset that her friend and I went to the same university (3rd largest in the country, no less).
13. The racist
im a black person. my bestest buddy in the whole wide world is a white person. we were roomies at one point.
he brought a date over, i met her, nothing weird. but as it turned out, she a had problem with my bromeo living with a black person (me).
he immediately broke it off with her. i dont have many friends, but id like to think i got quality over quantity.
14. The cheater, the beater
He had left his phone at my house and got a text while in my possession thanking him for the awesome s**. When I confronted him about it, he tried to hit me.
I couldn’t call 911 fast enough. He took off before the cops arrived.
A few days later, he arrives at my house unannounced and I walked out with a baseball bat. Never saw him again.
15. The stalker
After our first date she sent me a Google maps pin of my address with just “Haha” as the only context. I hadn’t told her my address then followed it up with asking how my boss was doing by using his first name. I hadn’t mentioned the name of anyone from my work.
That level of stalker made me pull the eject handle real quick.
I get that some of these are stories of people getting caught, but the ones where you’re just crazy openly and think that will fly? Baffling.
What’s a reason you cut things off in a relationship?
Tell us the tale in the comments.