When 2020 rolled around and the vast majority of us started spending WAY more time secluded at home, it really taught us a lot about our personalities and those of our friends.
I, for instance, definitely missed a lot of things and went a little crazy, but the overall prospect of just kind of working and being at home wasn’t all that daunting. It wasn’t even all that new. I have enough introverted tendencies that I think I survived it more easily than some.
But that’s nothing compared to the lack of change in experience for the true loner. Someone who might fit a description like this:
So, what does Reddit think of this kind of thing? Let’s find out.
1. Cooking Fridays
There was one guy who came to my shared apartment for students who was from Finland. He was really socially awkward because of his anxiety and barely looked at you in the eyes when you spoke to him.
So that is why I took him with me to meet my friends and we started doing cooking fridays where we all chose a meal to prepare and really do it from scratch (also great recommendation for a first date for the 2 of you)! That way we started integrating him into our friends circle and then he started playing on the guitar and he even began singing after some time!
At the beginning we had to be careful with our wording but as he became more acquainted to us, he became cheekier and so did we! It was a great experience for all of us and we learned a lot about people with anxiety and were able to make another person happy! He then had to go back to Finland and we left happily with a hug!
2. It all depends
It really depends
Are they a loner because they enjoy their own company, or because their behavior is atrocious?
I’m a loner, and if the person seemed fine I’d not be bothered.
3. It me
I’m that person. Give them a chance, some of us have experienced depression or abuse and are this way for a reason.
Some of us are trying to have friendships but have spent so much time working and trying to survive that we put social life to the side.
Some of us just like being alone.
Some of us are looking for someone to help get us out and experience more.
We’re not bad or broken, we just have become accustomed to solitude and don’t know how to live any other way.
We don’t want your pity, but could use some compassion.
4. Missing the basic basis
If they’re anything like me, it’ll be:
Don’t drink or go to bars
Not into sport
Don’t have kids
Lives away from relatives
These things are pretty much the basis of most people’s relationships.
5. But why tho?
If that is by choice, then I respect the fact that they live just the way they want.
If that is because they want and deserve to have friends, then maybe befriend them.
If they are so horrible persons that everyone has a reason to not be their friends, then maybe stay away from them.
6. First impressions matter
It really depends on how our meeting went.
if he was nice and cordial, I would assume its a personal choice or for some reason he couldn’t make friends.
If he was arrogant I would think he is a cunt and no one wants to be with him.
If he didn’t make an impression, either answer can be right
7. Sometimes the weird works
My guy is a straight loner.
Like would be happy if he never saw another human again, and I’m a people person.
But we have been together 11 years.
He is my best friend. Our weird works.
I would say, “I’m not the only one yay! What about music? What music do you like? What about watching adults play minecraft? Do you like that?”
9. It don’t always happen
I’ve dated a couple people like this.
Usually if things go well I introduce them to my friends and the activities I enjoy.
It hasn’t always gone well, some people are alone because they can’t interact normally with the wider world.
10. Over 75 seems like a lot
I would argue how you just find friends.
I’m currently getting separated my wife has over 75 friends.
I know a lot of people but I have roughly eight friends people I trust that I can confide in and talk about my feelings with.
I know a lot of people just not as many as that I would confide in so again what counts as a friend?
11. Social anxiety
Well that’s more or less me and it’s because of my social anxiety.
I really try to be a good person and be kind but it’s just very hard for me to make friends, so it doesn’t have to be a red flag.
12. Living dangerously
I remember going on a date with a woman at a bar.
We had a couple drinks. She asked what I did and my hobbies. I just told her, I work at a grocery store full time and just play warcraft.
She never talked to me after the date. Guess I live too dangerously
13. They’re not impenetrable
That’s how I met my husband.
He still doesn’t have friends and we spend a lot of time at home together.
I can’t recall my first thought, but I know we became fast friends and did everything together before we even began dating. It’s been great!
Met someone recently who moved here during quarantine and hasn’t met people. I invited her to 2 adult classes I teach; she’s a great addition. I go for walks with another group so she joined us for that and met even more people.
Another member invited her to join zoom meetings on another topic she’s interested in. I also found out she’s volunteered at a food pantry before and wants to do so again. I just happen to do the same. She’s helping me reorganize inventory tomorrow. I’m so relieved I don’t have to do it alone. Win-win.
Be friendly. Make a friend.
15. You’re not alone, loner
I was so scared to see responses to this because I thought they would all be negative, my ex gave me endless s**t for not having other friends and spending time alone because he thought it was weird but I like it that way which I always assumed was weird/wrong soooo phew!
We’re all just people doin’ our best.
Do you know somebody who’s a super loner? ARE you that person?
Tell us about it in the comments.