Remember that episode arc on 30 Rock where Liz Lemon starts a whole deal breaker franchise where she just gives women reasons to break up with men?
It’s hilarious. But putting up with real life deal breakers is NOT, regardless of gender.
Let’s see what some of the men of Reddit think crosses the line.
1. No respect for boundaries
I learned this lesson the hard way once, I’ve got no intention of letting it happen again.
“Tests” and indirect behavior. If you want something tell me. I’m not playing a game just to see if I’m “worth” your attention.
You don’t treat the things I care about or respect seriously. It shows me you won’t even put in the effort to act like you care.
The idea of “I don’t have to bring anything to the table and you have to bring everything”. If you’re a deadbeat leech I’m not interested in wasting my time on you.
If they breathe their politics too loudly. I’m fully open to someone who doesn’t perfectly align to my idea of a worldview but if they’re super loud about it that looks incredibly cringy and tactless. I don’t care if it’s for something I agree with or not. There’s more to life than mindless tribalism.
2. If you can’t handle me…
Any form of, “if you can’t handle me when I’m a sleeze bag, piece of s**t, then you don’t deserve me when I’m a lesser sleeze, piece of s**t”
You know what, you’re right. Later, man ?
3. Getting the third degree
Huge red flag when they ask you for every little detail when you’ve been somewhere without them i.e out with friends or something, and basically accusing you of cheating then getting overly defensive and secretive (showing really strong cheater signs) themselves
4. Relationship “tests”
I dated a girl in college that broke up with me, then got super mad at me and blew up my messages a few weeks later because it wasn’t supposed to be a “real” break up.
It was a test to see if I cared enough to fight for her and try to win her back and I broke her heart by not doing that when she broke up with me.
Lmao someone had been watching too many rom coms and found out real quick the real world doesn’t work that way. If you break up with someone don’t be surprised if they do the adult thing, leave you in the rear view, and move on with their lives.
5. Being terrible with finance
Money is cited in the top 3 reasons for divorce, always. And money affects every facet of life.
My BIL married a gal who was always a next thing away from getting her financial s**t together. Anyway, he’s living with us now, after his 2-year marriage ended, because, it turns out, people who are bad with money and have no real interest in saving, likely will not change.
6. Overall toxic behavior
Trying to pressure me into something I don’t want to do.
And I hold honesty to a pretty high regard so any form of manipulation or toxic passive aggressiveness is over the line for me.
7. Being a gossip
That overly judgemental, complaining attitude they have towards other people is what you will eventually get when you’ve been with them for a while.
It’s just what they are.
The whole mindset of “I’m the god’s gift to Earth, I don’t have to bring anything to the table, everyone wants me, I got options so I’m just going to treat you like an option and you better be happy about it or I’m going to label you insecure and tell all your friends and family.”
9. The “playful” assaults
Quieting people by lightly hitting them.
The ‘accidental’ backhand. The Arm Pull. The hitting the table in front of the speaker repeatedly.
It all leads to behavior that stifles or quiets the other person. Once that becomes habit, the partner gets run all over all the time because they never feel like they can say their piece.
Also anyone that acts like the loudest person should get their way.
well, in high school i was really into this one girl, and we would hang out a lot, and it started to get closer and closer to a full-on relationship.
we were driving to a mall, talking about things, and it came up that her dad told her if she ever brought a black guy home he’d disown her.
she stated that she would tell her kids, one day, the same thing.
i immediately lost all interest in her. she now is married with kids.
11. Cheating – in any direction
Hey if you cant have an open conversation with your current partner and end Things…. then you are not worthy and Belong to the streets.
You not Holding on to partners because they are a safety net.
Either work on your relationship or leave if you are not satisfied.
Having a cake and eat it too is super unattractive.
12. Lack of compromise
I’ve had dates with girls where they just showed that they weren’t really interested in compromise.
At first, I gave it a chance, but it always ended up being bad within a couple of months.
13. No work ethic
Looking for a partnership not a free loader.
Would like to say that the money isn’t the issue, it’s the poor work ethic, someone could work part time at any job and do more in the household.
I could work less and do more in the house etc, it doesn’t really matter as long as there’s a similar work ethic.
14. Being possessive
I’m not yours, you’re not mine.
We chose to share our lives together and we have to make that choice again every day.
Let’s build a project together, but we each still have our own individual projects to balance.
15. The no-fly list
Here’s my no fly zone list:
Unable to separate politics from personal relationships
Has every form of anxiety known to man
Low intelligence (not necessarily education related)
Lack of accountability
Inability to apologize
No sense of humor
That’s a lot of deals broken, right there.
What are your personal deal breakers?
Tell us in the comments.