Relationships can feel like maybe they were a big waste of time when you look back on one that’s ended, that you thought would last.

But as with anything, there are silver linings to be gleaned. There are lessons to be learned. There’s growth available if we care to take it.

Here are just a few lessons these anonymous people learned from their past relationships.

15. Don’t settle

That’s a big one.

Source: Whisper

14. Not just love

There are more dimensions to finding a partner.

Source: Whisper

13. Raise your standards

Gurl, you’re better than him.

Source: Whisper

12. There’s a difference

Coerced love is not love.

Source: Whisper

11. Age is Not Maturity

I know 40+ year olds who are absolutely childish.

Source: Whisper

10. Be compassionate

People are going through a lot.

Source: Whisper

9. Is it real?

Sometimes it can be a lie, or just mistaken.

Source: Whisper

8. Be a better man

Nothing better than growing.

Source: Whisper

7. It won’t stop them

Doing all the right things isn’t sufficient if the love isn’t there.

Source: Whisper

6. Be clear

It will hurt less in the end.

Source: Whisper

5. Silence isn’t golden

You gotta bridge all of those gaps.

Source: Whisper

4. Know your worth

It’s higher than you might think.

Source: Whisper

3. Don’t ignore it

You know what a red flag looks like.

Source: Whisper

2. Seriously: don’t settle

You’re not a cake.

Source: Whisper

1. Can’t force people to change

“They will continue as they are until THEY WANT change.”

Source: Whisper

Good lessons, all.

Have you learned anything in particular from past relationships?

Tell us in the comments.