Finding out that someone you’ve known for a while is living a disturbing other life can really shake you to your core.

It’s the kind of thing that stays with you and collects in corners of the internet like this Ask Reddit thread:

When did you realize that someone you were cool with your whole life was actually really messed up?
byu/Shadow_Saitama inAskReddit

Fair warning, these stories include descriptions of drugs, violence, r*pe, and child abuse/sexualization.

1. “I tried to guilt trip her.”

I had a cousin a couple years older than me who was killed in a car accident in his mid twenties.

My younger sister didn’t want to go to the funeral, and I tried to guilt trip her because her excuse was that she was spending the weekend with her boyfriend.

A month after the funeral, she told me that our deceased cousin had molested her when she was younger.

– shoopvedoobop

2. “Always a little weird.”

This guy was always a little weird, but we got along well. And then on a break from college while I was at my parents’ house, his mug shot showed up on the local news as a person of interest in a child p*rnography case.

I still remember my dad asking, “Isn’t that a friend of yours?”

The next day I ran into a mutual friend who gave me a few revolting details about the case.

And then it was like all of the weird stuff from over the years immediately summed up in my head and I realized just how messed up the guy really was.

– elevenghosts

3. “I wasn’t until I had kids that I realized…”

When I was growing up, my parents became involved with Amway/MLM. They had noble intentions (to get money to spend time with us) but it backfired. They were so involved with it that they were gone four nights of the week, and we never took a vacation without them voluntarily spending time at meetings.

It wasn’t until I had kids that I realized how much of my childhood they’d missed. I also became so used to fixing/solving things by myself before anyone noticed that it ties my insides up when someone offers to help.

– dammagedone

4. “Those weren’t uncles.”

Friends mom was a crack addict. Not entirely unusual in my neighborhood TBH.

He always had different uncles coming in and out of the house though i never saw him talk to any.

Hit me hard later on that those weren’t uncles and mom was funding her habit.

– Salty_Orchid

5. “I wanted to go to bed.”

A childhood friend that came to hang out when a mutual friend of ours visited after living out of state for a couple of years.

He showed up clearly on something which wasn’t really all that usual but he started straight making up stories about his dad working for the Irish mob and he just would not leave when it was 2am and I wanted to go to bed.

I ended up having to get our mutual to physically put him in my car and drive him home so we could get some sleep.

– handcraftedcandy

6. “They cut off all contact.”

Not me, but my older siblings.

One of their closest friends suddenly ended up in prison, which was very concerning. Turns out it was because he was sexually abusing his daughter.

They all cut off all contact with him after that.

– kryaklysmic

7. “You aren’t mature for your age.”

When I was in high school I was also in theatre. I was 15 when I joined. There were 2 guys, one my age who was really nice, and one 18 year old who I at the time thought was nice as well.

Most of his friends were 15 year old girls and he was making weird sexual comments. I was naive and thought he was great (he was a good actor).

When he started trying to get me alone though, and trying to flirt with me, I got creeped out and took my distance. He later started dating a 14 year old, and he later r*ped and abused her. I am lucky I realized he was weird on time.

To any young girl reading this, a grown man being interested in you at that age isn’t okay. You aren’t mature for your age, he is a predator. Please don’t get into a relationship with him.

– AngryMouse567

8. “It was like I’d died.”

When I left for BMT, my three closest friends from high school came by my house and went through all my boxes I had packed. Jewelry, books, video games, clothes- they took everything they wanted. What started out as 10 boxes turned into 2 mostly empty ones.

It was like I’d died, and they divided up my sh*t. The things that hit hardest were my hardcover set of Harry Potter (read them all my my sisters) and the jewelry set (earrings, necklace, tennis bracelet) that I’d gotten from my grandparents before my Papa (grandpa) passed away. They weren’t expensive pieces of jewelry, but they were my birthstone, and highly sentimental.

They blamed the whole thing on my sisters for a while, then I confirmed with all my siblings that they didn’t have anything to do with my stuff going missing. Haven’t spoken to those “friends” in over a decade now.

– i_just_read_a_lot

9. “He was free until his trial.”

When the local paper ran a story about them for being found guilty of possessing child p*rnography.

We went to high school together. This guy was good friends with my best friend at the time, she had a child in the age range that he had pictures of.

He’d actually been charged with the crime months before any of us found out about it because he was free until his trial (when the story was run).

– Snoo4071

10. “I trusted my gut.”

Ex BF. We had dated for two-ish years. He was really sweet, super motivated to be a firefighter, and overall a really nice guy. Super goofy.

I went to college and ended up breaking it off because something didn’t feel right. He was being more secretive, more reserved. I thought it was the distance, us growing apart, what have you.

A few years later my best friend sends me a pic of my Ex’s mugshot. He had been convicted on charges related to child p*rn.

I’m glad I trusted my gut.

– GirlScout-DropOut

11. “The police went to his place.”

My parents had a pretty close friend since I was a child that lived a block away from our house and would often have us over for dinner, spend holidays with us, that sort of thing. He was/is an obgyn.

About two years ago we found out through local news that he r*ped a girl in his home office, apparently he would practice abortions there (as it was illegal in my country at the time) and r*pe them while they were unconscious.

The police went to his place and found a bunch of guns there too.

– f1orencia

12. “He ghosted me.”

I found my best from high school on Facebook recently.

At first he was glad to hear from me. He is 60 and I figured out he still lives with his mom.

When I asked what he’d been up to the last 40 years, he ghosted me.

– Bobdavis235

13. “Yuck.”

Not my whole life but I became friends with a guy from my new job, we’d get a beer sometimes and I had him over for a barbecue a few times.

A few months later he got arrested for punching a girl and it became a pretty big local story.

In the process of being prosecuted a bunch of other girls (like about 10 or so) came forward saying he had threatened them. A girl he had dated briefly said he had given her some serious bruises while having sex. They also found a huge collection of upskirt photos an all the equipment he used to take them.

He had been expelled from high school for pulling up girls skirts.


– picksandchooses

14. “Currently trying to fix my life.”

At the end of last year I realized how many times my mom has meddled in my life when she thought I wasn’t going the way she thought it would.

Someone I was really interested in in my early twenties, she talked them out of ME while I wasn’t around. She was a really sweet person and I liked her a lot. Instead, I ended up with a psycho who left after our daughter was born.

That is just ONE instance out of many times my mother used intense manipulation on a person (usually me) to f*ck up my life because it wasn’t going the way she thought it should go. And she still has no idea she’s done anything wrong. Currently trying to fix my life from the last time she meddled in it. It’s not been good, but I’m almost through this mess.

– Meat_Sarcasm_Guy

15. “They stole a booster seat.”

They stole a booster seat from a restaurant and kept it as a trophy because they thought they didn’t get polite service.

No kids, plenty of money, educated; they just wanted to “hurt” the restaurant.

– crosleyxj

I know it’s far from the heaviest story, but I can’t get over that last one. Of all the Karens in all the world…

Do you have a tale like this?

Share it with us in the comments.