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Tumblr is a truly insightful place. Wait, did I saw truly insightful? I meant it’s an absolutely bonkers grab-bag filled with both delightful and horrifying surprises that will fundamentally change the way you evaluate the net effect of the internet on humanity. Also there’s a lot of Harry Potter stuff.

But even I have to admit, I pick up on something interesting here and there on this wonderfully weird website. Here are just a few Tumblr “insights” for your reading enjoyment:

15. How to Play The Trumpet

Step 1: Don’t.

14. How to Inspire the Next Generation

The kids are not alright.

13. How to Speak to God

Everything was horrifying all the time and that pretty much hasn’t stopped.

12. How to Write a Joke

Still a better script than X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

11. How to Care For Pets

Ah yes, it’s me.

10. How to Practice Proper Computer Care

I’m not a fan of when this happens.

9. How to Do Calendar Management

We need to just start over with the English language.

8. How to Grow a Child’s Mind

After while, pigeon.

7. How to Craft

This is his best idea yeti.

6. How to Speak French

Rue the day.

5. How to Pronounce Foreign Words

Somebody get Alexa in here.

4. How to Stay Calm

Know thyself.

3. How to Outrage People

Honestly, how dare.

2. How to Handle an Injury

At first I thought this was written from the perspective of a doctor and got very nervous.

1. How to Choose a Pet Name

If you name it Karen she can bark at the manager.

I mean honestly, why did I even pay for an expensive college education when everything I truly needed to know was there on Tumblr all along?

What’s something insightful you’ve learned on the internet recently?

Tell us in the comments.