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A little birdie told me that you like funny tweets. Get it? A little birdie? Because Twitter? Look, I’m not the best at writing jokes. So it’s a good thing that there are all these better comedy writers banging out these awesome tweets for us both to enjoy!

Here are 12 of the best ones you maybe haven’t seen yet.

12. Leave her alone

I don’t even get this joke, why am I laughing right now?

11. Looks like we made it

Started from the bottom now we’re here.

10. Party pooper

Turns out viruses don’t really care if you’re bored.

9. How Lowe’s can you go?

Great, now I’ve got another term to look up.

8. This aged poorly

Let’s not get it started in here.

7. Covering your bases

That counts as a legal disclaimer, I’m pretty sure.

6. Trixie little thieves

Girl, pick up your face.

5. Plant smack

Gotta prove that I’m tall.

4. Stick it to ’em

A reminder that these “life hack” recipe videos are garbage.

3. Lunch broken

Teach ’em how to say goodbye.

2. Dream ballet

Have we ALL used this alarm at some point?

1. Ghost in the machine

When you get left on read…FOR ALL ETERNITY!

A little birdie told me that’s all the tweets we have for now. A big bird told me that this post was brought to you by the letter M and the number 4. My therapist told me that I really need to learn to stop talking to birds because they’re not my real friends. My editor is telling me to wrap this up now.

Who are the best people to follow on Twitter right now?

Tell us in the comments.