Relationships are so great. They’re always positive and never a horror show at all. Whether you’re dating or married or just fooling around, everyone definitely likes the whole experience all the time and none of us are at all low key boiling with rage about it.

Which is why tweets like these don’t exist!

15. Judge not

Hey, I lost that toenail in the WAR.

14. Dirty jobs

We thank you for your sacrifice.

13. Zoom around

Nobody ever thought to put this in the wedding vows.

12. New math

This is exactly what they want her to be doing.

11. Perfect pitch

White Claw: somebody’s gonna end up screaming.

10. Food fight

Some things are cliches because they’re true.

9. Conspicuous by absence

Can I get you anything? A water bottle? A couch?

8. “Exactly”

See the joke is that short men are short and thus worthless. It’s a very funny joke.

7. You, me, and everyone

And none of them ever take out the trash.

6. Don’t tell

Lack of communication is key.

5. At what cost

Living wild and free.

4. Special thanks

That grass isn’t gonna tame itself.

3. On edge

Yeah, this is a very bad time for that.

2. Key findings

It’s always the last place you look.

1. Holes in the story

Boy oh boy marriage sure sounds fun.

Ok, so maybe not everyone in this lineup is perfectly content with their love life. But at least they’re funny about it. So they got that goin’ for ’em. Which is nice.

How’s your love life at the moment?

Tell us all about it in the comments, if ya want.