When you’re right, you’re right. And the tweets we’re looking at today? They’re right.
Mind you, they’re not right in a way that’s likely to change your life or open your mind to new worlds and perspectives and possibilities. They’re more right in the way that’s going to make you groan and wish nobody had ever invented the internet.
But they might also just make you laugh, and that’s really what we’re here for, isn’t it?
15. Feeling grouchy
“Oh hey maybe we should stop treating homelessness exclusively as a joke.”
– the kind of thing society eventually realizes
— Mustafa AkA deltakilo1-1 (@billionaire41) December 12, 2018
14. Where’s the lie?
I’m sure I’m wrong about this but it REALLY looks like she’s taking pictures in front of a urinal.
If Pinocchio had said that his nose grows longer Everytime he tells the truth nobody would know that he was lying
— Adish (@Adish2404) February 16, 2020
13. Isolated populations
They probably have no exposure to a BUNCH of diseases we’re aware of, which is why y’all gotta LEAVE THEM ALONE.
You know who probably doesn’t have 1 case of Covid? That Island of people who shoot intruders with arrows on sight. God bless them and I hope they are doing well. pic.twitter.com/nLfjsvZ2RK
— MK (@MaryKatherine_3) July 28, 2020
12. Cake or death
Hey, the math is never wrong.
Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony. However, eating too much pie is okay because the sin of pi is always zero.
— Robert H. Woodman (@RobertHWoodman) July 25, 2021
11. Save the date
I agree with this, but as an American, I must remain committed to formatting everything stupid.
Other formats can be confusing really https://t.co/q56WEQrVdB
— Stephen🇰🇪 (@okstephenadd) January 12, 2017
10. Getting trolled
Will he give me Wall-E, though? I really much prefer that one.
Nobody: What’s your favorite paradox?
Me: If you ask Rick Astley for his copy of the movie UP, he cannot give it to you as he will never give you up. However, in doing so, he lets you down. Thus creating the Astley Paradox.
— Alenora (@spunkyturnip) June 28, 2020
9. Art history
“Screw it, I’m pretty sure I’m mostly noses.”
— Dewan Syed Ali (@D_S_M_A_B) July 16, 2018
8. Spell it out
Man that is a level of drunk most of us can only aspire to.
Sometimes I think about the guy at my poker table in Vegas who was kicked out after the pit boss said he was too drunk (high bar). Security came over, asked him to say the alphabet starting with “M” and he replied:
He was escorted out of the room.
— Tim Hogan (@timjhogan) October 20, 2020
7. Name games
I don’t know what I expected.
LMAO IM AT MY SCHOOL TALENT SHOW AND DUDE SAYS
“Before I begin, I want to make sure this mic is working”
“If your name is Michael, please stand up”
Then a couple dudes stand up
And he goes “That concludes the mike check”
— Austin (@_Frostey) February 25, 2020
6. Dead serious
I think Reading Rainbow might have been a little less magical if they’d have phrased it like this.
Reading is just staring at a dead piece of wood for hours and hallucinating
— RandomFun! (@RandomFun_) June 12, 2015
5. Funny noises
And make sure you scream it really loud, that’s the key.
When you ask for someone's name, you're essentially asking them what noise you should make to get their attention.
— RandomFun! (@RandomFun_) April 2, 2016
4. Poetry in motion
And you gotta put SO much effort into it.
A diss track is just two grown men sitting in separate rooms, writing poems about each other.
— Faris Abukhdeir (@SiRAFabu) May 31, 2018
3. Botox blues
This…this just makes me feel sad.
i got botox and i asked the dr “how many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like “zero. you’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten botox.”
— dana bad (@baddanadanabad) July 23, 2021
Some bunny thinks they’re very clever.
My 11 year old just told me that once we get our bunny Hazelnut neutered we’ll have to call him Hazel. 🤣🤣🤣 I hate that she made me laugh because I keep asking them to stop being vulgar.
— Irreverent Reverend ✊🏼🙏🏼 (@TheAmberPicota) July 27, 2021
1. Economics 101
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime…
This is called "having a job" pic.twitter.com/jmsim07VP1
— Freyja Katra Illustrious Valentine (@FreyjaErlings) July 19, 2021
Ridiculously correct through and through.
What’s a technically correct fact you’re aware of?
Tell us in the comments.