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As literally anyone over the age of 30 will tell you, our bodies suck. I mean, they’re miraculous, but also, they’re garbage. The human body has so many quirks and weaknesses, as it turns out, that one of the busiest and highest paid professions in the history of civilization is “person who tries to fix all the broken body crap,” or in laymen’s terms, a “doctor.” That’s the subject Reddit user anam__cara delved into when they posted the following on r/AskReddit:
Needless to say, people had opinions. Lots of them. (Of course, this is just an internet forum, don’t go taking medical advice from it.)
1. First we dip our toes in.
Toes are weird. They basically are like low quality fingers
2. I’ve never wanted to think about my teeth this much.
Teeth! What the hell, I don’t have to go twice a year to get my armpits scraped out less they rot off.
3. Bollock Armour would be a cool band name.
Testicles, I understand the reason they’re not inside the body but damn, could we not have evolved some type of bollock armour by now?
4. Our world gets turned upside down.
The retina (which has light sensing cells) is at the back of your eye. The retina gathers information based on the light falling on it, and then sends it to the optic nerve, which in turn carries the information to the brain.
Ideally, the optic nerves should be completely behind the retina, so that the entire back-end of your eye can be covered with light sensing cells, and while this is true for octopuses and squids (cephalopods), we humans were just sort of unlucky with evolution in this regard.
For us humans, the optic nerves are in front, and the part where the optic nerve sort of bundles and goes into the brain is the blind spot.
5. We’re too easy to break, dammit.
Roll your ankle once and it’s never the same
6. I’m getting all choked up about this.
The breathing hole and the food hole are stupid close.
7. One of the most frequent subjects in the thread: periods.
Women having to bleed and hurt for about a week every month just because they didn’t get pregnant.
8. Pain has a purpose, but enough is enough.
No proper “turn off” button for pain.
Like, okay, I get it, I don’t need my body to remind me something is damaged for hours.
Not even mentioning chronic pains.
9. Look up the word “vestigial.”
The appendix in the human body is like the thermal exhaust port on the death star.
10. Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink.
That we can’t process sea water
11. Our parts arrangement is very weird.
Having the reproductive system right next to the waste disposal unit.
12. I’d love to be able not to listen.
We can’t shut our ears like we can shut our eyes
13. Some things seem like the opposite of wisdom.
There’s no benefit to having them, and they can cause some serious complications… including death, if they end up infected and it spreads to the nearby brain.
14. The eyes have it.
That half of us wear glasses or contacts because our eyes just don’t work
15. And of course, the most legitimate complaint of all:
we don’t have fucking wings
I hope you can get through the rest of your day alright without thinking too hard about how weird your body is. Seriously don’t do it. You’ll never recover.
That said, what would your answer be to this post?
Tell us in the comments.