Moms, you have a thankless job, and we all should bow down before you and give you the respect you deserve.
We SHOULD do that. It doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. And because it doesn’t happen, we have these hilarious tweets.
So, fair trade, right?
Let’s take a look!
1. Come on DADS!!!
Being a mom means kids banging on the bathroom door like swat asking for a drink while you’re in the shower and dad is in the kitchen .
— K o r e e n a ♡; (@Koreena_Darling) January 20, 2018
2. That damn Food Network!
my son asked me to make “something culinary for dinner…like, not from a box” and we’re now 5000% done with Food Network in this house
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) March 13, 2019
3. Kids have arms and legs tho
I can raise kids just fine, but keeping plants alive that only need to be watered once a month is apparently out of my reach.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 9, 2019
4. Can you do something else right now? kthxbai
What I said: It’s important for everyone to get a good night’s sleep tonight, so get on upstairs now.
What I meant: Mama’s got a sleeve of cookies and full DVR calling her name, so get out of my hair immediately.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) March 13, 2019
5. Spoiler Alert: All of them.
A children’s birthday party game: guess which guests are contagious.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) February 21, 2019
6. Every day. Every night.
*looks at 4 children*
“You leave me no choice.”
*eats last 3 cookies*
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 20, 2019
7. You’re free to find another life, kid.
Angry about losing video privileges, my 7yo texted me from his tablet that he is “having a bad life with me.” In case you’re wondering how parenting is going.
— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) February 20, 2019
8. Let the mental images of strangling commence!
Me: do you want a croissant or a m*ffin?
Me: *orders croissant and gives it to her*
2.5: noooo a m*ffin
Me: but you said croissant
Me: FINE *orders m*ffin and gives it to her*
2.5: *puts m*ffin aside and eats croissant*
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) March 13, 2019
9. She’s really good at that role
3yo: Do you want to play princesses with me?
Me: Of course!
3yo: Ok, I’ll be Ariel. Who do you want to be?
Me: Sleeping Beauty.
3yo: How come you always pick her?
Me: *already asleep on the couch*
— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 14, 2019
10. Even two out of three ain’t bad
What a parent’s bucket list looks like:
3. Drink hot coffee
2. Shower without kids banging on the door
1. Pee alone
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 9, 2019
11. sNOw dayzzzz
Kid: “We’re supposed to get snow tomorrow, & my teacher said school will probably be cancelled! Isn’t that cool?!”
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) February 12, 2019
12. Sleeping pills help…
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing parents that if their kids were super active during the day they would get really tired and go to bed earlier than normal.
— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) February 17, 2019
13. Thatta girl!
In case you’re wondering if kids do mimic parents, my kid picked up her toy laptop, said she was looking for bathing suits, and after a few minutes closed it and said she couldn’t find anything she liked.
— Steph Garcia (@mostephlove) February 18, 2019
I want my kids to know they can always talk to me about anything going on in their lives.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) February 22, 2019
15. For losers only
Friday Morning Game of:
OK, Who Peed on the Carpet?
*Spoiler: There are no winners.
— Mummy ??♀️ (@ThatMummyLife) November 9, 2018
How many of these were you as a parent? 100% of them?
That’s what I thought. 🙂